The Way We Live Now: Muttering angrily to ourselves on the subway. Don't be alarmed! It's the normal response to a public transit system that crumbles at the same time driving becomes increasingly unaffordable. Don't cry—it could be worse.

In 1989, Tina Turner lent her song What You Get Is What You See to her comrades-in-thighs, Australia's New South Wales Rugby League. Seemingly unrelated to the sport, Tina would be right at home in short-shorts like the ruggers'.

An injury on TLC's Emergency Level 1 is usually so traumatic, so outrageous, it simply must be televised. Terrifying, puss-filled gunshot wounds, near-death horse-and-buggy accidents, and of course, infections from wearing slutty cowboy boots to Vanderbilt football games.

This thing looks like that thing.

Before Jersey Shore on MTV, there were the Dog Brothers on MTV's Sex in the 90's.

Congratulations to killjoy117 for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, Teri Hatcher puts on a few pounds in Desperate Housewives, Regis Philbin's over-sharing makes us nauseous, amnesia-ridden Peter teaches himself how to drive by video games, MRI scans-turned-video, and Iron Chef America uses secret White House ingredients.

In your Arctic Monday media column: Johnny Apple's wine lives on, the Dallas Morning News jets further off its cliff, Tina Brown luvs David Denby, and Bloomberg will soon own everything.

[January 4. Photo: newyorkshitty.com]

Politicians in Uganda have been discussing the death penalty for gay people in their country. They have been emboldened by three American evangelicals who went to Africa to spout their hate. Let's meet these men.

Before the Herzhog re-imagining was upon us, with it's surprisingly successful casting of Nicholas Cage, the 1992 Bad Lieutenant with Harvey Keitel was all we had... or was it? Bill Hader of SNL gave his own interpretation of the role.

According to a team of British researchers who conducted research on 900 pairs of twins, "the elusive G-spot erogenous zone may be a myth encouraged by magazines and sex therapists." [USA Today, Times UK]

It's hard to say what's more pathetic: That the social networks at the center of Silicon Valley's growth derive so much money from online scams, or the way one venture capitalist excuses the whole sad scene.

After three months of heavy promotion, Food Network finally aired what was pegged to be the greatest Iron Chef ever. The secret ingredient—White House vegetables—was apparently of "national importance." Here are four things we learned during the special.

Pictured: a Labor Dispute banner outside the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood. Anyone know what the problem is?

[That's fashion designer Jacobs and his bf Lorenzo Martone on the beach in St. Bart's. Martone appears to be reading a 'Twilight' book. Which, ha. Image via Bauer-Griffin. Click for larger.]

Vanity Fair's new Tiger Woods cover story doesn't have a Tiger interview, and its Tiger beefcake photos are all of pre-scandal vintage. It just makes us consider the tantalizing magazine story possibilities that are still waiting to be written.

On the next season of 30 Rock, Jack Donaghy will have a fling with a right-wing CNBC talking head. On the last season of Alec Baldwin's mixed-up life, he hit on this real right-wing CNBC talking head. Art imitates life!

We can't believe this commercial is real. Taco Bell is encouraging Americans to utilize their "fresco" line of tacos for those looking to lose weight as their New Year's resolution. But does this diet include cheesy fiesta potatoes? If only.

Doesn't he need a search warrant for this?