Balloon dad Richard Heene reports to jail today. He's still insisting the whole thing wasn't a hoax. Pitiful. Man up, Richard; you're the greatest sci-fi hoaxer since Orson Welles did War of the Worlds. You're just less popular. [CP]

[Newly engaged famous people Russell Brand and Katy Perry stroll through the streets of North London casting spells yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

• It looks like Lenny Kravitz might finally be unloading his 6,000-square-foot Crosby Street loft after more than six years on-and-off the market. The five-bedroom duplex, which the rocker put back on the market five months ago, went into contract late last week. It had been listed most recently for $14.995 million. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• The Duke-Semans mansion on Fifth Avenue and 82nd Street is going back on the block. Russian-born billionaire Tamir Sapir, who purchased the eight-floor Beaux-Arts-style manse four years ago for about $40 million, is reportedly planning to put it up for sale with a $50 million asking price. [NYP]
• Andrew Guff, a managing director at the private equity firm Siguler, Guff & Company, and his wife Jessica Stedman Guff, the executive producer of ABC News Now, have sold their five-bedroom, 14th-floor apartment at 333 West End Avenue for $5.27 million. [Cityfile]
• Ryan Pedlow, a managing director at Ziff Brothers Investments, has paid $5.2 million for a 6th-floor apartment at 166 Perry Street. [bigdeal_nyc]

Wacky Korean nation North Korea is calling for peace treaty talks with the US—just months after Bill Clinton went there to save two reporters and took fun fotos with Kim Jong-Il. Coincidence? Bill Clinton wins Nobel Peace Prize 2010!

"As it prepares to pay out big bonuses to employees, Goldman Sachs is considering expanding a program that would require executives and top managers to give a certain percentage of their earnings to charity," the Times reports today. According to the paper, the plan could require execs at the embattled bank to give 4 percent of their annual pay to charitable organizations, which, if true, would mean the bank's chief, Lloyd Blankfein, would have some serious catching up to do. [NYT]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

A survey out today reveals that newspapers are still doing most of the original reporting that websites (like this one) rely on. But they're still losing money, readers and relevance. The solution seems… simple.

• A photographer says he plans to file a lawsuit against Lindsay Lohan after her driver "nearly killed" him in a hit-and-run accident on Sunday. The paparazzo says he's "lucky to be alive" and now plans to make sure Lindsay "goes to jail" for her crimes despite the fact LiLo wasn't even the one driving, and the photographer only injured his wrist and never even had to go to the hospital. [TMZ, NYP]
• Have Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly set a date? According to the Post, which conducted an undercover investigation last week, the couple are planning to get married in November at the Oheka Castle on Long Island, which is where Kevin Jonas got married recently. [NYP]
• Another Beyoncé concert is stirring up controversy. Less than two weeks after she got into trouble for performing for Hannibal Khadafy comes the news that residents of Trinidad are up in arms over a $1 million Beyoncé concert planned for February 18. Locals claim it will divert from the country's annual Carnival celebration. [Sun]

In an article written with somewhat weaker language than its headline, the Post reports that Conan is "ready to fly the coop" (plus other peacock jokes) over Leno's decision to steal his time slot. Of Leno and the network, their anonymous source says, "This level of shittiness was not expected." [NYP]

Mary J. Blige turns 39 today. Amanda Peet is turning 38. Country music queen Naomi Judd is 64. Samantha Boardman Rosen, the socialite and wife of developer Aby Rosen, is turning 38. Grant Tinker, the former CEO of NBC and ex-husband of Mary Tyler Moore, is 85. Tom Dumont of No Doubt turns 42. Former New Jersey Net legend Darryl Dawkins is 53. And Darren Lynn Bousman, the guy you can thank for directing Saw II, Saw III, and Saw IV, is 31 today.

On loan to Milan's team, Becks performs a strip tease, revealing handsome undies. LiLo is involved in a hit and run. Whitney and Brody "canoodle." Elijah Wood hosts Lord of the Wings, an eating contest. Here comes Monday gossip.

Roxxy is 5"7, 120lbs and wears a C-cup bra. She can hear, speak, listen and sleep and react to the touch of her owner. As if that didn't make her 'lifelike' enough, she also has five personality settings.

A lawsuit against the California measure that banned gay marriage — one that many predict will go to the Supreme Court — starts this morning in San Francisco. The judge has agreed to post each days' arguments on YouTube. [AP]

After tweeting that she hadn't slept for four days straight following the death of fiancée Casey Johnson, the internet's favorite oversexed pocket-celebrity, Tila Tequila, went AWOL for two days, only to return by announcing "I HAVE NO FRIENDS!"

The disgraced ex-governor of Illinois apparently failed to take his Elvis Presley pointer-finger dance into account in assessing his relative level of whiteness in a new interview with Esquire.

After London's smallish Obama on My Mind and Kenya's amateurish Obama: The Musical, Germany has finally created a true Barack Obama musical extravaganza with HOPE: Einer Neuen Generation. Palin has skanky back-up dancers and Reverend Wright sings angry gospel.

Now that Leno's move back to 11:30 is official, all eyes are Conan: Will he suck it up and helm the "Tonight Show" at midnight or make the move to another network? Variety says he is 'not happy'. Duh.

Even though The Simpsons haven't been culturally relevant for over a decade, it's always great to put the show in perspective by looking at its origins, its inspirations, and its eventual malaise. Tonight's special did just that.

It's the 20th Anniversary of "The Simpsons" this year! Fox reminded us of this tonight with a 1 1/2 hour "Simpsons" spectacular, including an hour-long documentary by Morgan Spurlock. Here are celebrities talking about their favorite characters.

It was bound to happen: There is now 3-D porn.