You don't always have to have ground breaking material to be a great stand up. Neil Hamburger proves this with his two minute joke-less intro. Enjoy the fruits of good character work.

Is airport security just a massive prank played on us by our reptilian overlords? The biggest threats to America's airports recently: underpants bombs, wrong-way smoochers and bottles of honey. And now: sword canes. Yes, canes with swords in them.

Art! Who goes there? Now: we do. In the second installment of our fortnightly Sunday art column, Kelsey Keith explains what a Jeffrey Deitch is, and why after tomorrow, the entire art world will be watching his every move.

Phyllis Nefler is back up in this! She's well rested from vacation and is in the shotgun position to take on this week's NYT's Weddings & Celebrations, filled with funny hats, Jews, iPods, and a serious lack of N.W.A. Typical.

Marriages! Good god, they're everywhere! And you know things are getting bad when Jeter's been poisoned with the matrimony bug as well. The New York Post thinks they know what's up. But, come on: is Derek Jeter actually getting married?

Martin Scorsese was apparently filming an ad for Chanel in Uber-Hipster (and Uber-Chasid) Williamsburg right under Moto near the Hewes Street JMZ stop the other night. Could've been worse. At least it wasn't for APC jeans. Or Sparks. [Dossier]

NYT: People are glad they don't own houses. If they do, they're sad. Especially men.

This is fun. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg made a cameo onstage at the 2010 TechCrunch awards—or "The Crunchies"—yesterday and had a nice little chat with TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington. And—typically—sketchy things about privacy were noted.

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"'The Jay Leno Show' will exit prime time on Feb. 11, NBC confirmed...the network does not yet know what its future late-night lineup will look like." Related, Brian Stelter's hangover will make for an interesting day in the office. [NYT]

This week's Sunday Styles is working a strong theme on food's frontlines: time, like an episode of Lost, is in flux! Because there are some some among us who are eating like OLDS, and some who are eating like cavemen.

Altarcations coming up! Meantime: Fergie and Josh Duhamael renewed their vows. There probably wasn't a bachelor party, nor a stripper present. Also, the sleazy-looking Backstreet Boy got engaged, which gives me a reason to bring you this early afternoon jam:

Quite possibly the only time traveling fish out of water comedy thriller ever made, Time After Time stars Malcolm McDowell as H.G. Wells, transported to the 1970s to capture Jack the Ripper. Mary Steenburgen co-stars as the love interest/bait.

What a wild few months for Office of Management and Budget stud-cum-nerd Peter Orszag! His lovechild is born! He's engaged to not-the-mama! And he's got the New York Times asking what he's going to do with his life!

A fairly accurate description, no doubt! The Times has a crazy-cool infographic about which zip codes rent what movies in 12 cities. Naturally, Milk and Rachel Getting Married have done very, very, very well. Fun! Also: Jersey <3's Shitty Movies. [NYT]

What else? Joe Francis might have had something to do with Tila Tequila/Casey Johnson. Angelie Jolie's latest production: Salt-y. Artie Lange has a gig, Lydia Hearst has a mans, Patti Smith's still punk. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Nicolas Cage is reportedly broke. He's also the worst actor of his generation (according to us). The Weekend Update segment on tonight's SNL made fun of the latter with a near-perfect impersonation of the movie star by Andy Samberg.

It's 11:45 on Saturday night, yet you're probably seeing your local news on NBC. Why? Because of football. Stupid football! Don't worry, though—SNL will be on in 15 minutes. Watch Tony Romo and Bob Costas explain the delay.

Adrian thinks Susan Sarandon left Tim Robbins for Ping Pong Entrepreneur Jonathan Bricklin.. Susan Sarandon says she didn't. Adrian thinks there's truth in her SNL Digital Short. Sarandon's Mom is even surprised. But...this NYT feature strikes a fairly suspicious note.