Hah, Andrew Cuomo is going to inadvertently kill the Harold Ford "campaign."

Today at Gawker.TV, a Biggest Loser takes a fall, Today works out alongside some canine friends, Jimmy Fallon may be the next host of The Tonight Show, George Lopez weighs in, and what Simon Cowell means to Idol.

Congratulations to knudsenm for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Ari Emanuel has fashioned himself as the most powerful agent in Hollywood since Mike Ovitz's terrible reign. And as Conan O'Brien's prime defender against NBC, he's found himself in the exact same position as the zen warrior of Beverly Hills.

The Way We Live Now: Putting things in perspective. It works like this: we think our lives are fucked because of the recession. Then we contemplate Haiti's circumstances. A few minutes later we're like, whatever, it still sucks here, too.

Showtime just released a clip of their upcoming comedy show, Episodes, starring Matt Leblanc as himself. In this clip, he's forced to audition in front of Showtime execs for the role of "Matt Leblanc." He's as confused as we are.

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"I almost start a mini press riot today at the Supreme Court, so certain am I that Justice Clarence Thomas is about to ask a question for the first time in nearly four years. In a case about indefinite detention for sex offenders, he summons someone to bring forth a law book; he puts on his glasses and reads carefully from the book, then leans forward toward the microphone. To his left, Justice Stephen Breyer looks at him expectantly. I nudge my colleagues on either side and hiss, 'He's gonna do it, he's gonna do it.' We all start craning and gaping. And then Thomas, who hasn't asked a question at oral argument since Feb. 22, 2006, takes off his glasses, tips his head back up against his headrest, and closes his eyes." –Dahlia Lithwick

Lady-slasher Hiram Monserrate will be censured (which is meaningless) or expelled (which his lawyer, Joe Tacopina, says they can't do, though they can). Andrew Cuomo's investigation of Pedro Espada for tax and campaign finance fraud is heating up, too!

Google is putting its profits and growth on the line to stand up to China's authoritartian practices. Whatever we might suspect about its motives, the company deserves applause for that. Maybe now it can lead an allied, anti-repression tech force.

How better to channel ones rage over the fools at NBC than in art form? We're rounding up the best artwork and most ridiculous internet memes that support Conan O'Brien— or hate on Leno and NBC. Onward!

Oh Fox & Friends, how I've missed you. Today our beloved murmuring crayfish were discussing Sarah Palin's big Fox News debut and Gretchen, whoo-boy-howdy!, sure was impressed with her. She got such tough questions! Like: "Is Nancy Pelosi a kook?"

Four titans of the financial world—including Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein—are testifying before the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission today, and boy are they sophisticated in their exegeses about how they almost killed us all.

In your deathly Wednesday media column: magazines set to perish in 2013, Jon Landman defended, Ted Koppel treated like a common whore, and Variety for sale, cheap!

Gross itchy scabs Mark Halperin and John Heileman want to sell books by setting up Steve Schmidt and Sarah Palin in a cage match, argues Wonkette founding editor and Gawker Media alumna Ana Marie Cox on her Air America Radio blog.

Struggling movie mogul Harvey Weinstein hasn't had much success reviving Halston since buying a stake in the once storied fashion brand back in 2007. But he may have a new trick up his sleeve! (And he may be taking inspiration from Lindsay Lohan, of all people.) Rumor has it Halston is in negotiations with Sarah Jessica Parker—award-winning actress and noted perfume expert—to have her sign on as the company's creative or design director. [E!, Vogue]

Galactically vile Christian cleric Pat Robertson told his CBN viewers today that Haitians are "cursed" because their ancestors "swore a pact with the devil" to liberate themselves from the French in 1804. "True story."

We've had enough of trying to follow all the speculation around Apple's impending tablet — how it'll work, its size, the name, the software and whether it will save magazines. We want answers, dammit! And we're willing to pay.

Conan already skedaddled if he can't do The Tonight Show at 11:35. Jay reneged on his retirement once, but he can't possibly keep doing this for much longer. What does that leave NBC with? Jimmy Fallon. Uh-oh.

The boys at gay New York nightlife mag Next Magazine mapped out all the homosexual establishments that closed over the past ten years. This makes us feel sad and old. Click to enlarge.