Last Saturday, an earthquake hit Northern California. Luckily for the people in this news office, their dog sensed it early and hightailed it. This does beg the question: why was a dog hanging out in a news office?

Observe young Taylor Pugh: a four-year-old rapscallion unwilling to trim his wild mane for the sake of classroom safety. The school board of Mesquite, Texas has voted to ban longhairs like Taylor from pre-K. Taylor Pugh: boy. Hair. Threat. [NYT]

It's bonus season on Wall Street, which explains why investment bankers are in good spirits these days. But they're not the only ones excited about the impending gravy train. Real estate brokers are gearing up to (finally!) unload some of those ridiculously expensive apartments that have been sitting on the market unloved for many months now.

Many years ago, NBC decided that the guy who came up with the idea of doing concerts on The Today Show would make a great network head. Now they are in last place. Except in jokes, where they are first.

American Idol is finally back! And this year, once again, is advertised as better than all the others. It has auditions! And judging! And product placement! But the real draw? Simon Cowell, the alpha and omega of the show's success.

H&M took some heat last week after it was revealed that one of the company's stores in Midtown regularly destroyed its unsold merchandise rather than give the items to charity. The Swedish retailer revised its policy the next day, but now it's the mayor's turn on the hot seat. It seems the NYPD has been incinerating or shredding the counterfeit clothing that it's seized over the past year, thus "abandoning a practice of giving knockoff garments to groups that help the needy." [NYT]

Well well well, shut our collective mouths, magically! Last August, a woman accused David Copperfield of luring her to his private island, raping her repeatedly, and then threatening to kill her if she told anyone. Copperfield denied it at the time. But let's be honest: everyone already thought David Copperfield was kind of creepy, so it's the sort of accusation one might be inclined to believe.

We were busy watching all the jokes about Leno last night to make it to Gossip Girl costume designer Eric Daman's book launch party. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern never lets us down. Here's her report.

This is more evidence that the 4th hour of Today is where all bad segments go to die. Today's WTF-worthy segment of horror? A segment on Doggie Boot Camp. Everyone participates in this embarrassment and we, the viewers, win.

Yesterday there was little news available from Haiti, so optimism remained. But as more info about yesterday's earthquake comes out, it looks grim. The prime minister says hundreds of thousands may be dead. The government has almost ceased to function.

The glasses face-tattoo dude was a Ray-Ban viral ad. Still hope the tattoo was real.

Here's "found footage" of Questlove's audition for Amy Poehler's role on Parks and Recreation. If you're old you may wondering who (or what) ?uestlove is: drummer of The Roots, now known for being Late Night With Jimmy Fallon's house band.

Ron Perelman has never been known as a nice guy. If the city gave out an award each year to the most horrible husband in town, the bald billionaire would probably have a collection of gold statuettes sitting on his mantle. (He's been married and divorced four times, and he's been involved in messy lawsuits with each one.) But if you'd like evidence that Perelman also happens to be a horrible father and son-in-law, this sprawling article in the current issue of Fortune should do nicely. [Fortune]

Despite its imminent demise, American Idol still danced winsomely for us last night, marking the start of its 9th season with a big, gloopy Boston-set episode. Sob stories and wild-eyed maniacs abounded as always. Though one maniac was sorely missing.

Gretchen Rubin seemed to have it all a few years back. She was a graduate of Yale Law, had established herself as a bestselling author, was happily married to her law school sweetheart, had two beautiful girls, lived on Park Avenue, and also happened to be the daughter-in-law of Robert Rubin, the fantastically wealthy former co-chairman of Goldman Sachs and Treasury Secretary under President Clinton. (Bonus!) And yet she still wasn't happy. So, naturally, Rubin took a year off to clear up her "midlife malaise."

Pranks should have a modicum of wit behind them. This retaliation prank is more like wanton destruction, but it fits the original crime, as our videographer informs us in the opening, so we salute it.

It's safe to say we have all forgotten the man with the most dynamic opinion on the late night landscape: George Lopez. What does he have to say? And how can he turn this debacle into a racist joke?

Like something foretold in Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles, NASA's captured what looks like trees on Mars. They're actually streaks of sand left by evaporating carbon dioxide ice (brrr!), but it's still stunning. Larger version for those who click. [HiRISE]