Ok, maybe the Republicans will still lose this one in Massachusetts. They're hiring temps to get out the vote and someone in DC is trying out the goofiest push poll ever.

Here's a map of Park Slope—brave, bourgiest corner of Bourgie Brooklyn—where the streets are named for the rear-window college stickers found on parked cars. Odds are you'll find your own school somewhere. Maybe it was even your car!

The Way We Live Now: Fleeing the crumbling aftermath of a disaster-stricken hellscape. Having taken in the stark, hopeless, post-apocalyptic nature of their once-thriving home, citizens are getting out however they can. (Manhattanites, we mean.)

Every day we come across so many great things on the internet. Here's our favorite links, news stories, and webjunk that we came across today.

"General" Larry Platt came on the show this morning and performed his "hit" song, "Pants on the Ground." This American Idol reject seems to be enjoying his fifteen minutes during his nutty performance and bizarre interview with the View gals.

Wyclef Jean offered a teary defense of his charity work with Yele Haiti in a press conference just now, admitting that he made some mistakes but denying that he profited from the charitable donations he directed toward his business interests.

Today at Gawker.TV, Judd Apatow's 1993 Jay Leno impression, Julia Roberts does a drunken interview, 60 Minutes misses the point, the most hated comedians, and Hollywood gives itself some self-congratulatory acceptance speeches.

Whoops! Today's Freeze Frame was just a little too obscure for you fine folk. Click through for the answer.

[Mischa Barton and Mariska Hargitay filming 'Law & Order: SVU'; image via INF]

The president has finally tweeted. Barack Obama's first-ever personally-issued tweet concerned disaster relief in Haiti. It's a worthy topic for any sort of communications debut, so we're sure Obama wasn't trying to reward Twitter Inc. for spanking Karl Rove.

It's official, Wendy Williams is the Martha Stewart of all things weave. When an audience member admits to being unsatisfied by the size of her poof, Wendy does not hesitate to offer a solution: black dress socks of course!

Hello, it is the most recent "Weekly Notes" memo from inspirational be-bowtied Bloomberg leader Matthew Winkler. Imagine him shouting the entire text at you, to get the full effect.

Are you under the impression that tornadoes mostly transport people into magical alternate universes? Well, tornadoes also smash trains to pieces. Check out the mayhem.

Hollywood glitterati were Tweeting pictures and doing other techno-things during last night's big time Golden Globes ceremony, and we've rounded up some of their snaps. They're grainy and blurry, proving that Twitter really is going to ruin traditional journalism forever.

In your mawkish Monday media column: James Dobson coming to your sexxxy radio dial, a rumor of perfidy at McGraw-Hill, an editor passes away, and Larry King and Pete Wentz team up to save Haiti.

First Google refused to continue censoring its Chinese search engine. Now the company is helping a Congressman rebuke China's authoritarian regime for human rights violations. It all just confirms that Sergey Brin is by far our favorite top Googler.

Very. During last night's red carpet at The Golden Globes, Billy Bush landed a sweet interview with Julia Roberts. And by "interview," we mean a wasted Roberts shouting whatever thoughts enter her mind.

What's SNL-alum Rachel Dratch been up to these days? Joining up alongside comedian Billy Eichner and taking on Jay Z and Alicia's key's mega-hit of 2009. Their spin? "A Forest Hills State of Mind."

As is required of all blogs these days, The Awl gets its very own monster.

Reuters says Conan O'Brien will tape his last Tonight Show on Friday. TMZ says he is working out a deal to keep his characters. Terrible old Lorne "Lose Some Weight and Write Me More Game Show Sketches" Michaels is now somehow involved. Staff severance packages remain a sticking point.