The "6 most statistically full of shit professions," according to Cracked.com: stock market experts, wine tasters, art critics, criminal profilers, weather forecasters, and sportswriters. [Cracked.com]

Alex Balk tries to make the case: "the iPad is a lot like Barack Obama..."

If the Senate oks (unspecified) changes to their health care bill, Nancy Pelosi says she can get it through the House. She is a pretty good Speaker! The reconciliation process requires only 50 votes, but amendments are hypothetically unlimited.

You probably didn't imagine it was possible for perverted billionaire Jeffrey Epstein to look any worse than he already does. And yet he's managed to accomplish that feat, it seems. [PB Post, via]

Every idiot on TV and the internet won't shut up about Steve Jobs' new thing you need to spend $800 on (though we'll take a free one if anyone's offering!), which means its a great day to release inconvenient news.

This video takes the tune for Petula Clark's "Downtown" and makes a Lost-themed parody about the show's unanswered questions. "Answers- like what is the smoke monster? Answers- like what do the numbers mean? Lost, we're counting on you."

Every D of the W, we stop to look at good comments. Today we are so mesmerized by the fancy new iPad that we can't focus on anything else. So here are our favorite Pad-related comments of the day.

Think back an hour or so to the iPad unveil. Jobs is on stage. He reveals his tablet, and then the price, $499, to rabid applause from everyone. Everyone, that is, except people who knew better.

The Way We Live Now: bicycling towards oblivion. Toyota's given up on cars. The young lady winking at you's a professional gold digger. And everyone who can't run fast enough to keep their job is getting whipped into submission.

Andrew Breitbart has a bad habit of championing unreliable nuts with destructive tendencies, just because they're conservative. Alleged criminal activity aside, James O'Keefe might turn out to be less embarrassing than some of Andrew's other great conservative hopes.

Oprah Winfrey sat with Jay Leno yesterday for his first post-Late Night Wars interview, which will air on her show tomorrow. And if the two just-released promotional clips are indicative of the whole, the interview is not to be missed.

We're still all trying to figure out whether British actor Ben Whishaw is gay or not and New York magazine isn't helping. They're trying to deflect blame for the hubbub back onto Out magazine. Damn, everyone. Why the drama?

The fact that nobody correctly guessed today's Freeze Frame says a lot about our readership's excellent taste in movies. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, MADtv saw into the future of the Apple iPad (which some CNBC anchors find distasteful), Meredith Vieira surprises Martha Stewart with stripper pole footage, a sneak peek at The Ricky Gervais Show, and the season finale of Teen Mom.

John and Elizabeth Edwards. Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren. Brad and Angelina. Jon Gosselin and about half a dozen women in their 20s. In this day and age when the news is filled with stories and rumors about failed relationships, it's always heartwarming to come across a couple that shares a love that only grows stronger with each passing day, even if they happen to find themselves in the harsh glare of the spotlight from time to time. Thank you, Olivia Palermo and deutsche-über-model Johannes Huebl, for reminding us that love really does conquer all (or, you know, "die liebe besiegt alles"). [Elle]

The only thing you need to do to get rid of any "Ohh, I wish I was at Sundance" blues is to actually look at coverage of Sundance. The crowds! The lines! The stars! It's all pretty gross up close.

Animal Collective collaborated with director Danny Perez in ODDSAC, a "visual album" that will premiere tonight at the Sundance Film Festival. Lucky for those of us not in Utah, we can watch the creeptastic trailer online.

Rob Lowe, James Van Der Beek, and Conan O'Brien all played in the same celebrity baseball game. Watch Dawson Leary cry all over George Lopez's couch about the day Rob Lowe couldn't remember his name.

Louis Auchincloss, whose austere novels exposed and defined the cloistered world of white coastal privilege in which he was raised, has died following a stroke.

In your wicked Wednesday media column: the post-Roger Hodge day at Harper's, real journalists sure don't work in a "coffee shop," layoffs at ABC, and Nancy Grace is bad.