Things Were Surely Better Back in the Hypothetical Good Old Days
The Way We Live Now: bicycling towards oblivion. Toyota's given up on cars. The young lady winking at you's a professional gold digger. And everyone who can't run fast enough to keep their job is getting whipped into submission.
I remember when I was a little kid the popular bedtime story was all about how Toyota killed Detroit by making superior automobiles and improving the manufacturing and distribution and sales process and avoiding costly labor expenses, but now Toyota is almost getting the fuck outta the car business entirely, which makes you just shake your head and reflect what a long, sensible ride it's been.
That's more than you can say for the old men who just wanted to find themselves a little love and instead found 28 year-old Cher Thompson whose full time job was cozying up to old fellas with dementia and traumatic brain injuries and things like that and sucking them dry financially only, which is a sad statement on the times we live in.
And Whole Foods isn't doing any favors for the elderly and infirm and portly either, by giving big food discounts to skinny workers only, which really seems to defeat the purpose.
But even fat Whole Foods workers can be happy that they have a job, for now at least, since most everybody with steady employment has now been informed that we have to watch out for the "bullwhip effect," which is just a fancy economic term for when companies ramp up their inventory, which makes a lotta work and sure, that's great, everything lovely, until CRACK, that's the sound of the bullwhip snapping back the other way, and you're unemployed.
All these secret aliens riding along inside our bodies really need to pay their own way.
[Pic via]