This man is working late when the office maid comes in to do the vacuuming. She's just doing her job, but he's too important for that kind of distraction, so he cuts the vacuum cord...with metal scissors...while it's running.

This little girl channels the nineties by putting her hand up and saying "whatever," with the same amount of feigned disdain as a teenager being interrupted from watching TGIF.

Dan Neil is the Los Angeles Times' Pulitzer Prize-winning automobiles columnist who recently took a job with the Wall Street Journal. The farewell memo he sent to his soon-to-be former colleagues, which was first printed in LA Observed, is as entertaining as his columns. Also, incredibly classy.

Bloomberg News staffers no longer have the market on fear and loathing cornered: Informants tell us that high-stakes monitoring of reporters' performance has poisoned the atmosphere at Reuters and the Associated Press business desk, too.

Reuters's Martin Howell sent this memo to staff after the financial wire reportedly tied its internal records of scoops to reporter pay. Attempts to file such "Beats and Exclusives" records are expected to mushroom.

Once in a while the battle between an unstoppable force and an immovable object shake the very foundation of our beliefs: gorilla vs. bear, shark vs. alligator, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. None of these compare to Kitty vs. Robo-Arm.

It's been a chilly winter. Why not relax with some summery AFHV clips?

[The former Real Housewife of New York in Bryant Park for Fashion Week yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

She doesn't need the money, she just likes the kinky thrill. Two stars who need the cash are battling over a part and a fourth celeb is fighting with an eating disorder. To the victors go the spoils!

• Time to sell off assets to pay the lawyers! Raj Rajaratnam, the scandal-plagued hedge fund billionaire who was arrested for fraud last October and has since been charged with masterminding the largest insider-trading racket in decades, has sold one of the apartments he owns at 60 Sutton Place South. The 8th-floor co-op, which the Galleon Group founder bought for $1.675 million in 2008, sold to Lewis Zuchman for $1.575 million. [Cityfile]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Tiger Woods sexer Rachel Uchitel has taken the well-worn path from tabloid fodder to media job — she's started to interview on Extra (after herself being interviewed on the show). It's probably a more efficient method than interning.

Remember that New Republic story about how the Post was shedding its best talent? The one they vehemently rebutted? Time magazine announced that Double Pulitzer (and everything else, pretty much) winning reporter Barton Gellman is leaving the paper to join them.

• Lindsay Lohan was supposed to go to Vienna so she could accompany creepy billionaire Richard Lugner to the Vienna Opera Ball. (He brings a different celeb or model to the event every year and pays them $150,000 for the pleasure.) Sadly, Lindsay missed her chance to collect the much-needed cash. She ran up a $22K bill at the airport duty free shop and couldn't pay the bill, and the ensuing drama forced her to miss the flight. So she didn't get Lugner's check, she has $22K in stuff she doesn't need, and her house is even more cluttered. That worked out well! [DM, P6]
• The reason Alec Baldwin was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night yesterday? Apparently he got into a fight with his 14-year-old daughter, Ireland, over the phone and threatened to "take some pills," then she called 911 and an ambulance showed up, and Alec was like, "Ugh, fine I'll go to the hospital," and he spent about an hour in the ER before doctors sent him home. His rep says it was "all a misunderstanding," and it's possible that his ex-wife, Kim Basinger, actually prompted Ireland to call 911 in an effort to embarrass him. But Alec didn't make the situation any better when he returned home on Thursday night and "assaulted" a Post photographer who was waiting for him outside his apartment building. [Fox411, NYP, Daily News, Us]
• John Mayer broke down on stage in Nashville on Wednesday, thanked his band for standing by him, and vowed to "quit the media game." Finally! [Us]
• Bill Clinton was hospitalized yesterday after complaining of chest pains. Doctors inserted two stents into a blocked artery and the ex-president is now at home in Chappaqua and "in good spirits." [People]

More than 200 villagers have to move from land Madonna bought from the government for a $15m girls' school just outside the capital, Lilongwe. Don't worry though, they got 16m Kwacha in compensation. That's a lot of Kwacha. [AP]

Style icon Pat Field turns 68 today. Film director Darren Aronofsky is turning 41. Christina Ricci is 30. Senator Arlen Specter is turning 80. Children's author Judy Blume is 72. Josh Brolin, the actor and son of James Brolin, is turning 42. Locanda Verde chef Andrew Carmellini is 39. Tech visionary Raymond Kurzweil turns 61. Celebrity nutritionist Oz Garcia is 59. Fonzworth Bentley, Diddy's former assistant and now the host of his own show on MTV, is 36. Chynna Phillips is turning 42. And Arsenio Hall turns 55 today. A few people celebrating birthdays this weekend—including Mayor Bloomberg—are below.

Hailey Glassman lands the lowest of blows and a terrifying magazine cover. Should Alec Baldwin blame his hospitalization on his ex-wife or his daughter? Suri Cruise wears lipstick. Quentin Tarantino wears out his welcome. TGIFriday gossip.

Bil Clinton has left hospital and is expected to be back to work on Monday.

The New York Times report that Jorge Puello, a legal adviser to the Baptist missionaries (pictured) accused of taking 33 children out of Haiti without permission, is being investigated in his native El Salvador for... running a human trafficking ring.

Billionaire Richard Lugner—Austria's prince of nouveau riche—pays an estimated $150K each year for a celebrity escort to the Vienna Opera Ball. Lindsay Lohan landed this year's gig—but apparently bungled the details so badly, Lugner said das fuggedaboudit.