A writer wrote about Tiger Woods' penis! Some chick from The Bachelor totally cheated on The Bachelor! J-Lo in a catsuit! David Paterson's awesome rapper friends! Adrian Grenier isn't ugly! OR IS HE?! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Jay-Z's always been a pretty cagey interviewee, especially regarding the way he won't tout or discuss his working or home relationship with wife Beyonce Knowles with anybody. But he started to loosen up a little on the BBC last night.

Yes, assoats.

Mitch's uncanny delivery won him fans the world over. In his journey to America's hat, he gives a great performance about performances.

Hello, hello, baby, you called, I can't... wait, what is this again? Oh! It's tonight's Olympics open thread (sorry, Gaga on the brain). So, tune your television to NBC, come on in and comment along as you watch!

Evan Bayh recently announced that he was sick of the Senate, and that he needs a goddamn break before he freaks the fuck out. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but today's Bayh-bylined NYT op-ed contains exciting revelations about his real reasons!

You would think kids who are extraordinarily smart have enough on their plate. Not so much! argue parents whose kids' intelligence they have nothing to do with, as evidenced by the way they not-at-all reluctantly put them on game shows!

This week, Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats take us to a press conference of a very important apology, as well as to the Vancouver Olympics, where together we will venture through the Dreaded Anus of Death.

The folks at WE TV us a screener of The Locator, a show you've probably never heard of that's starting its fourth season next month. It follows a PI who specializes in reconnecting lost family members, but he has standards.

2001's Anthrax mailer, Dr. Bruce Ivins, killed five people and then himself. The FBI's closing the case file on him today. Interestingly, the guy hated New York. Sometimes, it sucks! But there are ways around this problem.

Facebook banned a fan page set up by a radio host supporting Joe Stack, who for some reason people don't want to call a domestic terrorist, which he was. Assholes and crazies, "The South Will Rise Again" is still there.

The definitive article on the battle that erupted between Family Guy and Sarah Palin has been written: it's an A1 NYT feature, it's comprehensive, and with any luck, finally puts this stupid, boring, predictable saga out of sight forever.

This sketch actually comes from Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim before they had an Awesome Show and did a Great Job! And guess what? It's got rollerblading! Here's a trailer for an epic rollerblading movie, Bladin'. Coming to theaters never.

The most compelling pundits in Conservatism right now are basically this kid because he's a a kid and Andrew Breitbart, because he's stunningly shameless about how excited he is to try to "destroy people." Also, shocker: he doesn't like Salon.

Paris Hilton's mans and ex-mans got into a fight and hopefully punched each other in the face. Adam Lambert and Ke$ha sucked face. Susan Sarandon got puked on by a tranny. Hillary Duff: engaged. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

This underrated eighties toon is dripping with familiar names and voices. Written by the director of the first two Harry Potter films, it features the voices of Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson) and Pat Carroll (Ursala in The Little Mermaid).

Moments ago on Real Time with Bill Maher, Seth MacFarlane took the opportunity to respond to Sarah Palin's outrage over the fact that Family Guy made an implied dig at her mentally disabled son, Trig.

During today's Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC)—currently underway in Washington, DC—a man named Ryan Sorba took the podium and condemned the organization for inviting GOProud, a gay rights group. The conservative crowd then booed him off the stage.

Ricky Gervais is one of the bravest, and greatest, stand ups working today. In preparation for the debut of his new show tonight, check out this clip of him turning a nontraditional subject into comedic gold.

Since Adrian is off tonight, I thought I'd step in and continue his tradition of the last week of providing you all with a place to discuss NBC's primetime coverage of the XXI Winter Olympics—as it airs. Welcome!