Here come the men! Well, boys, I suppose. Young men? Whatever they were, they sang last night. And, after the fairly disastrous ladies, hopes were high. Were they satisfied? Ohhh. I don't know. I don't think so?

Great moments in the endless Health Care summit: the President telling John McCain, "John, we're not campaigning anymore. The election is over."

A crime most foul was committed on the night of August 21, 2009 at the residence shared by eight simpletons at 2000 S St., NW in Washington, D.C. One of them must be (duh, duh, DUN!) the murderer.

Steve Harvey was on Good Morning America to discuss techniques for first-dates with host Robin Roberts, when he inadvertently imparted a shocking piece of information about his own preferences.

Gov. Chris Christie, whose red-candidate-in-a-blue-state election as governor of New Jersey was a victory for Teabagging culture warriors everywhere, named sex doctor to head the state's Department of Children and Family Services. And her sex toys are illegal in Mexico.

Earthquakes to destroy your city! Escaping ants invade! Planets ripped apart! It's not science fiction, it's just your daily science watch, where we watch the science—the real science, only!

Some stupid boy getting you down? There's a gay for that! So if you're thinking of drowning your sorrows in a lake, all you need is a sassy gay to set your ass straight—straighter than he'll ever be!

A forthcoming Facebook movie should further Sean Parker's reputation for enjoying coke-fueled parties with college coeds. Maybe the celeb-studded soirees he's been throwing at his $20 million Manhattan mansion, Bacchus House, will class up the Facebook co-founder's rep a bit.

The perks of child stardom (money, berserk fans, adulthood irrelevance) comes with the price of living out awkward stages in public. Dakota Fanning's growing pains were her ugly teeth, the only thing anyone ever wanted to talk about with her.

A controversial new book by a Harvard-educated lawyer weighs in on American society's most hotly debated sociological quandary: Should black ladies date people who are not black? The year now is 1955. Oh, it's not?

This guy pranks his friends by changing the startup sounds for Microsoft Windows into gunshots and turning the sound wayyyy up.

The White House has its official Health Care Summit Twitter hash tag. The video is streaming. Soon, America will have a compromise health care bill that consists of tort reform and a capital gains tax cut.

The police officer who shot and killed the crazed chimp attacking a Connecticut woman last year has been plagued with PTSD ever since, envisioning the victim—"She had no face." He sings sad tunes on YouTube. Heartbreaking, the whole thing.

Are you considering delivering pizzas in your free time? It's a big city out there (and not all the streets are neatly numbered or lettered) so you're gonna need all the help you can get navigating the lipstick concrete jungle.

Churches: Old and busted. Getting married at the place you spend all your money is way better. Plus, the groom needed to pick up a new Macbook charger anyway. Now everyone get your rice throwing app ready to go.

Pigeons, they're just like us! They poop on the sidewalk, smell like garbage, and apparently...ride the subway.

You might suspect that Andrea Peyser, the New York Post's hardcore pornography critic, would be totally gay for hot sexxxy "Fire women," kicking in doors of burning buildings in their blazing hot fire gear, with sweat pouring off their chiseled abdominal muscles, covered only by a sheer layer of fire retardant gel. But no—"if I were to be caught in a fire, I'd feel a lot safer in the arms of a 6-foot man than those of a 5-foot girl." This is the topic of Andrea Peyser's popular newspaper column today, which is illustrated with a photo of a typical fire lady in typical fire gear, a sports bra. [NYP]

This little "Pygmy Jerboa" is a cross between a pom pom from the arts&crafts box, and a chiclet. And apparently it thinks it tastes like one too.

The whole Charlie Sheen-Brooke Mueller saga just keeps getting sadder. Now Radar is reporting that Mueller is addicted to crack and has been in rehab more than five times. Question: Who is watching their 11-month-old twin sons these days? [Radar]

Watching the silly drama unfold yesterday about disappointed skier Julia Mancuso's mean Tweets about teammate Lindsey Vonn, I started considering how the internet has played a part in these Hotlympics. And I don't like it!