We received a text from a tipster at 5.08am saying: "Mike's apt is on fire right now! Black eyed peas and axl!" Which, using our young-people translator, we deduce means a breakfast meeting of musical minds occurred at the hotspot.

You'd have to pry the job from his cold, dead hands, but what if Paterson's latest scandal caused New York to lose its second governor in so many years? Meet Richard Ravitch, the 76-year-old Manhattanite waiting in the wings.

Yesterday I fell prey to the dreaded Twitter phishing scam. All my contacts receiving a direct message: "haha. This is you??? [clickableURL]" Now my inbox overfloweth with "Let's catch up!" emails. Who knew spambots could make a girl so popular?

Olympic women spun, leaped, and flying cameled their way to the figure skating podium last night, but with all those plunging backs and necklines (not to mention visible nipples) all I could think was, Where does the bra go?

There's one big problem with the Olympics: nothing else is on television! So, until everyone gets back to ignoring Canada, take a look at how Jimmy Kimmel improves on the only things you're watching on TV right now.

Gold medal-winner Evan Lysacek seeks Dancing with the Stars fame. Gossip Girl Leighton Meester is in an indie drama, as is Lucy Liu. Zach Galifianakis will play an exorcist. The Trade Roundup is proud of all our Olympic athletes.

Tonight marked the end of Stephen Colbert's epic coverage of the Vancouver Olympics, and he went out with a Canada-bashing bang. What do you do when the host country disappoints? You mock the HELL out of it, naturally. Video inside.

Once the floodgate to CNN anchor Jeffrey Toobin's sex life opens, the revelations don't stop. On Sunday we figured out the "vile" fetish the Daily News dared not name was probably anal. Now, news on the kiss-and-teller's identity: Judith Regan?

Weird: When's the last time The Daily Show was less cynical than the cable news channels it mocks? Tonight, The Daily Show came out in favor of the health care summit most news networks (and us!) wrote off as theater.

Going home the first week is always hard, but it looks like two of tonight's American Idol eliminees just didn't get the "You have to be gracious" memo. At least Allison Iraheta was having a good time! (Post contains spoilers.)

Wherever Harold Ford pays his taxes, he pays a lot of them. He makes soooooo much money! When he started in 2007 as vice chairman, Merrill Lynch "Guaranteed" Ford $2 million/year for his work getting government bailouts and stuff. [NYT]

During NBC 4's 5:00 newscast today, Chuck Scarborough broke in and informed viewers that a man was killed by a falling, snow-covered tree branch at Central Park. Joan Rivers, in the studio for an interview, replied, "Who cares!" Video inside.

Paterson really, really does not want to give up his campaign for governor.

Openly gay comedian Rhys Nicholson pulls no punches in his stand-up. Listen as he describes the ins and outs of dating and why fat girls were created for gay people.

After more than a week missing, CNN is reporting that Andrew Koenig's body has been found in Vancouver's Stanley Park. No word on cause of death, but family said he was depressed at the time of his disappearance. Update:

Reaching... Olympics... saturation... point... about... to... explode... JUST KIDDING. We could watch crazy weird winter sports all day every day until we are lowered into the grave. Tonight: Women's free skate, men's freestyle skiing, giant slalom. And... (sigh) nordic combined.

The founder of bankrupt Veoh looked for a place to crash; Palm's chief flack cracked wise about the stock; and John Mayer saved himself from being heckled at the gym. The Twitterati adjusted to sudden reversals.

What's worth watching live tonight and what should you record on your DVR for later? We've got the answers here. What will you be tuning into tonight? Let us know in the comments.

[... But this picture is so delightful. It makes us love New York so. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Image via Getty]

Just for future reference, would-be candidates: if you're speaking to the Stonewall Democrats, you should know what Lawrence v. Texas is. Harold Ford did not. (Harold, that was the landmark Supreme Court decision that struck down anti-sodomy laws.)