She just can't forgive Tiger for sleeping with a porn actress. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reunited. Michael Jackson signs a deal from beyond the grave. Every New Yorker hates Brooke Shields. Tuesday's gossip is not taking it anymore.

Dealing with a roommate whose presence isn't exactly a turn-on? Howcast offers a few tips on how to get him to take a hike.

Tragic news out of DC: with the passing of legendary Democratic Congressman John Murtha, an entire lobbying firm has gone out of business.

BIRTHDAYS

Mouse experiences joy, accepts death and ultimately cheats fate all to an amazing soundtrack. Reincarnation through cheese!

By trying to bring in some top-notch directing talent! Also today: a new movie about butter finds its cast, more new shows from the Syfy channel, Paula Abdul has been located and is receiving care, and Muppets.

The most surprising revelation in Ad Age's story on Bud Light's failed "Drinkability" ad campaign is that "Drinkability" was apparently supposed to be an actual thing—the "ideal rational benefit," the consultants said. Haha. Really? Shut up. Really? "Drinkability?"

She's a thief, and now she's a star. This druggie actor is more of an angel, as in angel dust. One of the Celebrity Apprentice contestants wants to be a brawler. The blind items are always about identity.

It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's a small child sneezing in a painfully drawn out manner!

We want to see your stuff. If you think you're the next Jason Wu, or Chris March, for that matter, send us your stuff. Your designs could be featured on Jezebel! Deadline: Friday, March 19 @ noon.

Who is designing toys these days? Pedophiles? People who want to crush the souls of children? Is this China's doing? Because if so, they are very sneaky in breaking the American spirit. Toys, in most forms, should not aggressively hump.

Edgy NYC is back! A five year-old child's Lamborghini-bedecked birthday party in Queens was shot up yesterday. A homeless guy punched a 91 year-old female Rite Aid cashier during a robbery. And a 99 year-old man was beaten with a steering wheel lock in an argument over a parking space. Awesome! Now if we can just get some violent junkies back in Tompkins Square Park, we'll all be edgier by osmosis.
[Pic via]

What do exploding cakes, animals doing gymnastics and trampoline fails have in common? To be honest, absolutely nothing besides the fact that they're all funny.

[Angelina Jolie in Venice while filming "The Tourist"; image via Splash]

The death of euphemism in advertising continues apace. "Tampon is not a dirty word, and neither is vagina," claims a tampon advertising guru. Oh? Television networks disagree.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

A Minnesota government office is letting its employees do pretty much whatever they want, as long as they get their work done on time. Sounds like a dream! But not everyone is into the idea.

The man who secretly videotaped ESPN reporter Erin Andrews nude in her hotel room—and then tried to sell the tape—has been sentenced to 30 months in prison. [AP]

Just when you thought this whole recession thing was over, the Times is reporting that $700 billion worth of bad corporate debt will be due in two years. Stock up on Doomsday supplies now.

Two Canadian psychologists have released a study warning that "green products do not necessarily make for better people," and that when compared to everyone else, a tree-hugger will always rip you off first.