Google's GMail will now alert you whenever someone on another continent ogles your inbox, assuming said hacker is too dumb disguise his location, in Poland or wherever. Hey, we're not implying Polish cybercriminals are stupid. Google is.

Congratulations to JulesNYC for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, a look at Joe Biden's worst gaffes, Martha Stewart doesn't know how to use a debit card, Lost dives into Richard Alpert and the Atlantis Theory, and we tear apart The Blind Side's worst movie mistakes.

The Way We Live Now: Weighing our options. Unwisely. Americans were never famous for our ability to make calm, sober choices. A recession is just an excuse to become a pirate! Or ask for donations! Or break outta jail!

Gerard Butler appeared on The Tonight Show to promote How to Train Your Dragon but he wound up running interference for his overly candid Men's Journal interview. Butler explains the interview tactics that caught him off guard.

Here's a trailer for Showtime's upcoming cancer comedy (that's a thing!) The Big C, which features Laura Linney doing her fun tight-wound/manic thing and Precious star Gabourey Sidibe speaking in her natural, chipper voice but still being a tough cookie.

This kid somehow manages to set half of his camp site aflame, but it's the crazed laughter of everyone present that seems to suggest that the lawn chairs aren't the only ones getting blazed at this campout.

Sure, he may be uncomfortable with the impoverished, but we should just be proud of former President Bush for making is through this whole visit to Haiti without one of his trademark hilarious verbal goof-ups, like "we don't torture.")

Just when you think dressing little girls up in glitter and hairspray was getting blasé and overdone, some redneck mom goes and ups the ante. Here's five-year-old Kyndal popping out of a box like a stripper in a birthday cake.

Regis Philbin has a history with phones. Maybe he's too old for the technology, but to be fair it does get annoying when you are trying to leave a message all you get is an automated person on the line.

All Regis wants to do is leave a little hello y'all! Why is the tech world conspiring against him?!

There you have it…the best reader-submitted 2033 Gawker headline! The potential truthiness of the gem presiding over this little box of text is downright frightening—mostly because it could happen. The equally terrifying/amusing runners-up after the jump.

This urgent press release entered our mailbox not long ago, and we pass it on to you as an example of what the English language is capable of, in the right hands. Diddy, all we can say to you is: pee pee in your mouth.

Usually I'm not that cool with the poleezy. They're always confiscating my extensive bong collection, harassing me for driving on the sidewalk, and not allowing me to keep four wives. But this arrest of a disruptive student is justified.

There is some controversy over Christiane Amanpour taking over ABC's This Week. Longtime Washington Post critic Tom Shales, for example, is upset that she hates Israel and has bad hair.

This girl was trying to move somethin', and she succeeded by flinging most of her possessions across the room in a desperate grasp for balance.

Everybody has a few people clogging up their social networking sites with frequent updates, annoying pictures, and general stupidity. But there's often guilt about offing these former friends. Feel bad no more! These are the people you must ditch now.

In your vengeful Wednesday media column: Albany justice does not save the media, a physically attractive journalist is found in India, Nightline is old, and the WSJ plans to cover this whole "god damn Mets" business.

The Huffington Post has a way of squandering its own victories over the establishment press, and it's happened again: Larry Roberts, the investigations editor triumphantly lured from the Washington Post, has resigned.

It's called the Sashimi Tabernacle Choir, and it's made up of about 200 singing sea creatures on a Volvo. Every lobster from the marine cast of "The Little Mermaid" is rolling its eyes right now.