Fallon fulfilled his role as a late night host last night. He took something current that everyone was talking about, and incorporated it with something retro. Biden's swearing and school house rock work perfectly together.

During yesterday's televised White House briefing on newly passed heath care legislation, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs compared an unhappy John McCain to his 6-year-old son Ethan when his toys are taken away. Shots fired.

Starting tomorrow, going to the movies will be more expensive. Yes, Avatards are to blame.

Well, she really doesn't want to, but she might have to. Plus: a YouTuber becomes a TV movie star, the balcony closes for good, Diablo Cody makes her All About Steve, and fat people ruin America. Also, Sarah Palin.

Two little monkeys sitting in a car, one in a child's seat, the other's not far. The other pops out, but just his head. At least they're safe in the car, and not falling off the bed.

They'd call him Santa Claus if he gave any more gifts. One actress is obsessed with her weight (and her bulimia) another is obsessed with her boyfriend's ex. This singer has two boyfriends at once. Let's hope one isn't Santa.

The Wall Street Journal has published the best story in, I'm guessing, its entire history, pertaining to monster manure gas bubbles threatening to explode all over the US heartland, with devastating effects.

James Cameron announced his hatred of Beck for the past three years because Beck called him "the anti-Christ". Last night, Beck responded to Cameron's comments on his show. So two people nobody likes don't like each other? Weird.

This kid is told by his mother that little atheist children don't get Christmas, so he better believe in God. Kind of refreshing to have that ultimatum out there on the table, isn't it?

[Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon in Miami yesterday, just before the whole of Florida was swallowed by the sea; image via INF]

Christian Shostle, a former TMZ producer, went on medical leave for depression, unsurprisingly. When he came back, he says, his colleagues were using drugs on the job. He complained. He was fired. Now he's suing. Might TMZ lack professionalism?

Unless you're a speed skater or pro luger, instances of slick surfaces and people traveling at high velocity rarely end well.

Johnny Maestro, the doo wop singer who led the group Brooklyn Bridge, died yesterday at the age of 70. His biggest hit was "16 Candles," when he was singing with The Crests in the 1950s. That was the jam.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Violent protests erupted in Sri Lanka after troublemaking singer Akon appeared in a music video, Sexy Chick, which depicts a sexy pool party with a brief Buddha cameo. Now he's been denied a visa, and it wasn't even his video.

The first steps toward repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell will be announced today by Defense Secretary Robert Gates. A Pentagon spokesman said the initial changes would "provide for a more humane enforcement and application of the law." [WaPo]

White extremists, angry at the passage of health care reform, are mobilizing to punish the Godless Democratic lawmakers who are responsible for the coming of Armageddon. The FBI is involved after a series of death threats. Here are some highlights.

Come November, the state may be the first in the US to legalize, and therefore tax, weed. A $20 billion budget deficit may have something to do with it. But isn't it already legal there or something? [LA Times]

Won't somebody save tragic ragamuffin Sunny James? Her father has three mistresses on the record, now. Lady Gaga contemplates dying on stage. Tiger Woods courted LeAnn Rimes. Brad Pitt talks about his beard. Thursday gossip has orphans and a widow.

A Philadelphia woman is on trial for offering three-ways and anal sex for tickets to an undercover cop who she met through Craigslist. The officer who set up the sting was hunting for "blondes" on the site.