Have you seen these commercials for Liberty Mutual? It's like the entire population of New York City is on ecstasy, which you'd have to be batshit crazy to think is a Good Thing.

This week HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters fauxhemians told us that no matter how broken up you are, no matter how much of a loser you are, she will still come around to open up old wounds. Bitch.

Katherine Creag is a field reporter, which means she has to stand out in the cold, stand in the heat, and deal with annoying pedestrians. Today she gets 2 out of 3 when a local Harlem woman saw an opportunity.

As the obesity rate in our country climbs, so does our hunger for McNugget. It was only a matter of time before someone realized that the best way to eat a chicken nugget was from a necklace.

This C-Span caller is upset with how many black people keep calling into C-Span. But he has a helpful suggestion: "you should change your name from C-Span to black-span." The C-Span call-in host guy has a terrible job. [Via]

Everyone's favorite Biblically-correct beautyqueen is being sued by a Christian PR firm for $64,000. Supposedly she hired the firm to help her spread her message of love when she hit big last year, and then never paid them. [TMZ]

Robert Brot, a rich 57 year-old real estate developer, says 26 year-old Lindsey DeLeon abused his love for her, ripping him off for more than $100K. Why didn't he just hire her? Her escort ads are still up.

Last week Jimmy Fallon crashed a segment about sex on the 4th hour of Today, and like a true gentleman he sent the ladies a note afterwards. The problem? Inside he'd written "You're my favorite." In both of their cards.

Rod Blagojevich may not think so, but he was a bad governor. Luckily, he is entirely self-aware when it comes to how badly he is in need of a computer tutorial. Lesson one? Turning the darn thing on.

Some Tea Partiers protested in Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's hometown of Searchlight, Nevada, this Saturday. Instead of staying home and crying or whatever, Harry grabbed his shotgun and went down to his giant pork barrel "shooting park."

YouTube is often lauded as an innovation that revolutionized the distribution system for contemporary music videos. But, it also functions in another, largely unheralded capacity: it facilitates the discovery of old artists by new generations.

Elton and Betty White, lovebirds brought together by destiny despite adversity (their 30 year age difference; meeting in a homeless shelter), perform their psycho-sexual lo-fi ukulele funk tribute to the ass on the public access stage.

What is going on with LiLo's shoes? Kate Winslet is haunted by the ghost of relationships past. Sandra Bullock abandoned her house too. Gerard Butler's hands wander frighteningly. Demi Moore shrieks on Twitter. Monday's gossip is scared senseless.

Last night 60 Minutes profiled Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov—the man coming to save your New Jersey Nets! Bloomberg Markets profiles him in next month's issue. Is a grand media coming-out party by a Russian billionaire really a good idea?

This video is really just an exercise video in disguise, but good advice is good advice.

Today is March 29th. Passover begins at sundown. And pastry lovers are celebrating National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day today.

Hey, American children, stop embarrassing American adults! Jamie Oliver, a man who comes from a country that calls bland, gray blobs of food "dinner," is showing the world that not only do American children eat horribly, they like it.

The MTA is flooding the NYC transit system with cops in response to the subway bombings in Moscow today. So don't worry, the guys you see on the trains carrying submachine guns are there to protect you. In all likelihood.

Michael Steele is just wasting RNC money on limos and private planes and, yes, private bondage-themed nightclubs with topless ladies. Update: A Republican consultant charged the trip to the RNC, and the party says Chairman Mike was not actually there.

The New York Times just paid $114,000 and apologized to the Singaporean prime minister for possibly implying that he got his job because his dad had the same job.