The guy who hacked Sarah Palin's email is in court and could be in some pretty deep shit. Daughter Bristol took the stand yesterday to talk about Fox News and crazy Alaska boys and losing her cellphone. It's a tear-jerker.

It's been 40 years since the first Earth Day, and somehow we haven't fully screwed the planet. As a favor, here is our "green" list of places that have not been totally ruined, and what you can do about it.

Kyrgyzstan will hold parliamentary and presidential elections on October 10.

The Russian prosecutor general's office has found that Scientology texts undermine "the traditional spiritual values of the citizens of the Russian Federation." Probably the prosector general just needs a FREE STRESS TEST. [The Moscow Times]

Good news! A Republican helped move a crucial component of financial regulatory reform through a procedural hurdle today, which marks the first time a Republican has helped a Democrat since, oh, the Civil War. But there's bad news too, right?

Eleven workers are missing after an oil rig explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Tonight on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler and her panel discussed how humiliating Dancing with the Stars is for all involved. The topic of Kate Gosselin also came up, and Handler couldn't help but mock ex-husband Jon's minature-sized member. Video inside.

Conrad Zdzierak used a "Hollywood quality" mask called "The Player" to rob four banks and a CVS, evading capture because the mask was black and Conrad... wasn't. Police nabbed Zdzierak thanks to a Crimestoppers tip. [ABC Action News; tip via]

Tonight, Stephen Colbert gave his hilariously satirical take on the ugly-as-hell new $100 bill. Mocking the Treasury for its over-the-top presentation, Twitter for its inability to make money, Taco Bell, and more, Colbert covered all of the bases. Video inside.

Tonight on The Daily Show, everything was gay, gay, gay! First, Jon Stewart discussed how President Obama was heckled for not yet repealing 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' (ugh). Then, a crazy man attacked Senator Lindsey Graham's sexuality! Video inside.

We've missed the Birthers. They put the "crazy" in "Democrazy". Without them, we've had to confront the actually scary lunacy of the gun nuts and the Tea Party. But now birthers back with new wacky schemes and characters. Woooo!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN? Yesterday, the "Geezer Bandit" flashed his revolver to a teller and robbed his seventh San Diego area bank since last August. He is believed to be between 60 and 70. Reward: $16,000 [LAT]

So, Idol Gives Back is going on right now. Earlier, the Black Eyed Peas performed "Rock That Body." It was a train wreck. A complete and utter train wreck. Like, a what the hell type of train wreck. Video inside.

As the latest skirmish in the Jon Stewart Vs. Fox war reaches its fifth night, Bernie Goldberg claimed a sort of Pyrrhic victory on the O'Reilly Factor. On the one hand: He "clearly got to" Jon Stewart. On the other...

During his hosting gig at the AVN porn awards, Greg Fitzsimmons took some time to do a little stand up during the opening monologue. There may be no nudity in this clip but it is definitely NSFW.

Welcome to the commenting party that's as enjoyable as bacon—but without the calories, fat, or cholesterol. Yes, it's time again for our Top Chef Masters live blog. Indulge in it with us! Your heart will thank you!

ABC's Ultimate LOST Fan Promo Contest has produced some great spots. But none of them fully illustrate the sheer hopelessness, despair and withdrawal that we're five episodes away from experiencing better than this one.

Remember the Crouch Quadruplets? They all got into Yale and the Times wrote about them, and haters began to hate. The college "wooed them heavily" and now they've all committed. Gawker: Your source for everything Yale. Update: Admissions drama!

[Street artist Shepard Fairey talks on the phone while finishing his mural on Houston Street and the Bowery last night. Image via Getty]

Peep Show does awkward better than any other show in the world. I know that's a tall order, but tune in tonight and you'll see exactly what I mean. What are you watching tonight, #tvparty friends?