Last night was the night that Idol Gave Back, with song and montage and African video. Last night was the night that God took his pearly hand and ripped our hearts from our chests, leaving us bereft and alone.

[via Uptown Almanac]

The Supreme Court says your employer can read your sexts in these circumstances.

To Heidi he's "Top American fashion designer, Michael Kors!" but to us he'll always be the guy who can whip up an insulting metaphor faster than you can say "crazy crotch." Seven seasons worth of Kors' best put-downs inside.

Guess who showed up at Obama's speech at Cooper Union today about Wall Street reform? Goldman Sachs' own Lloyd Blankfein! And many other financial execs. Balls of gold, they have. They'll all get stuck in traffic going home, anyhow. [NYT]

School districts annually admonish Take Your Child to Work Day as disruptive to education. They're missing the point: This holiday sucks because the only thing more boring than their schools is your job.

In unbelievable deep sea footage shown at oceanographer David Gallo's TED talk, an octopus is shown changing shape, color and texture to camouflage itself into a bed of coral. Much like boisterous rapper, Eve, this Octopus will "blow ya mind."

Kristen Wiig guest-starred in a Twilight tale of vampires, love, and bureaucracy. Lt. Grimes' daughter fell for a bloodsucker, but neither father nor state would stand for inter-species romance—at least not until the couple completed the requisite seminars.

For the first time in human history, we can break hearts with the touch of a button, without even sharing air space. How to know if dumping your significant other with a status update is right for you.

There are many things you can do while visiting Montreal: you could barhop the world famous nightlife, you could try poutine, you could try speaking French, or you could make anti-Semitic gaffes about noses on national TV.

The Ritz-Carlton hotel in Naples, Florida is facing a lawsuit from a veteran waiter in the hotel's restaurant, who says he was barred from serving some racist customers because he was black. Who's to blame here? Brits, naturally.

The Friends are skeptical of climate change and more or less disapprove of the planet as a whole, so they're celebrating Earth Day the only way they know how- by jabbering stream-of-consciousness-style about money and race.
Apologies for using an Arrested Development reference on these morons.

Yes, Vogue's man-about-town brings some class to America's Next Top Model, but even he couldn't escape the ridiculous little game Tyra played to tell the girls they're all going to New Zealand. The shame!

As the man behind the camera moves around this room, the symbols made with candles seem to change shape. These kind of illusions are called anamorphic illusions and require the viewer to change vantage point.

It's been a rough week for Gray Powell, the Apple engineer who left his iPhone prototype in an ersatz German beer garden only to see it turn up on Gizmodo. So Lufthansa's offering to fly Powell to real Germany, gratis.

Remember Mini Daddy, the portly young child reggaeton star who became an internet sensation with his hit single, El Nino Mas Bonito? Did you know he had cancer? You're a horrible person for thinking he was horrifying! M.D.'s story, below.

Blue Tulip Rose Read is definitely not stalking BBC Radio DJ Mike Read. Sure, she had her name changed to his and prints his picture on t-shirts and shows up at his work—that's love, not stalking!

This video is new from the 'Hurlex' guys at break, who seem to be in a continual prank war. It features a more literal take on 'Fruit Punch'.

Tragedy in America: A nice patriot from Virginia whose truck had a very patriotic paint job, has been stripped of his right to license plate free speech. The plates carried a coded White Power message, citing Hitler and David Lane.

Always a team player, Sam Champion was relegated to the Nemo infested waters of Epcot center to deliver this morning's Earth Day themed forecast. Watch as he delivers the national weather conditions and shills for Disney between gasps for oxygen.