Earlier this week, we brought you (more) stories of just how disliked the iconic guitar company Gibson is by employees and customers alike. If you work at Guitar Center, do not share this story! Or else!

To celebrate making old episodes of Seinfeld available for streaming, Hulu created a replica of Jerry’s apartment in Manhattan. Yesterday, on day one of the exhibit, some grown child briefly broke it. This person then sent a video of the incident to Curbed, and shared the resulting article on his Facebook page with the following caption: “Hello world, it’s me. The Sein-failed guy. My inner Kramer is beaming.”

Pranna, Madison Avenue’s opulent palace where the mimosas flow like waterfalls (and so does the vomit), may not be long for this world. Despite making small changes to appease its long-suffering neighbors, the brunch spot that gave us the fake heir to “half of fucking Manhattan” had its application for a new liquor license aggressively rejected by the community board Wednesday night.

Did you ever wonder if you could jump all the way across the subway tracks?

Donald Trump, to be fair, says a lot of idiot things. And for the most part, people just ignore him until he tires himself out, as you might a child having a tantrum. But it looks like his idiot comments about drug-addicted-rapist Mexicans rightfully offended some people—Univision says they’re not going to air the Miss USA beauty pageant as long as he’s involved.

Mustard-colored mustard merchant McDonald’s cares about kids, to the extent that kids can whine enough to convince their parents to take them to McDonald’s. McDonald’s: heroic, or most heroic?

A heat wave with temperatures rising well over 100 degrees in Karachi, Pakistan, has left nearly 900 people dead as of Thursday, the Associated Press reports.

A New York Orthodox rabbi announced last night that he’s refusing to leave his post—despite his synagogue board’s requests to the contrary in response to the revelation of his habit of taking naked sauna dips with young male congregants in the 1980s and 90s, some of whom were as young as 12 years old.

The NYPD is seeking a man who allegedly “masturbated to completion” on an uptown A train Friday morning while covering his lap with a black baseball cap. Not covering it well enough, apparently, because the woman who reported him says she distinctly saw his penis. She also sent Gothamist this video of the man apparently pleasuring himself on a packed train:

Saved by the Bell star Dustin “Screech” Diamond was sentenced to four months in prison and 15 months probation this morning for stabbing a man in a Wisconsin bar on Christmas Day. The 38-year-old actor, who was convicted of carrying a concealed weapon and disorderly conduct in May, faced a possible sentence of five years.

Orcas (also known as killer whales) have what some scientists call “culture.” They exhibit a range of behaviors depending on their global locations (the species is found in every ocean on Earth) and how they live in those locations (there are transient, resident, and offshore orcas). Some males stay with their mothers for life. Many pods are led by matriarchs. Some hunt in teams using methods that require strict coordination and a seemingly sophisticated level of communication.

In a 6-3 decision announced Thursday morning, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in King v. Burwell that federal healthcare subsidies under the Affordable Care Act—a.k.a. Obamacare—are legal in all states, not just those with their own state-run insurance exchanges.

Biotech stocks, which have risen 550% since the depths of the recession, are now prime targets of short sellers betting they will collapse in grand fashion. “Of any part of the market, this is the one with the most bubble-like characteristics, without question.”

Please if you would, allow me to tell you the tale of how one murderous convict—armed with only a big dick and an artist’s temperament—painted his way to freedom. Ahhh, mon cherie, quel monde merveilleux.

“The Ratio Eight coffee machine makes delicious pour-over coffee,” Bloomberg reports. “But is it worth $480?”

“As long as I take those three pink lithium-carbonate capsules every day, I can function. If I don’t, I will be riding on top of subway cars measuring speed and looking for light in elevated realms”: Friend of Gawker Jaime Lowe writes about lithium, the element that helps control her bipolar disorder.

A US Military F-16 fighter jet seemed to “fall out of the sky” Wednesday night near the Mexican border, exploding and sparking a large fire.

On Sunday, an Alaska house cat had a clear message for a nosy black bear, telling the interloper (in the universal language of clawing), “Hey, big guy, get lost!”

On Tuesday, a California man was arrested on hate crimes charges after allegedly yelling homophobic slurs and attacking three men with a knife for wearing skinny jeans, the L.A. Times reports.

Today, PBS concluded its internal review of slave owner-omitting genealogy series Finding Your Roots, determining the show’s producers violated PBS standards by allowing Ben Affleck to influence editorial decisions. PBS has now postponed the series until “corrective measures” are implemented.