Abduwali Abdukhadir Muse, the Somali pirate lucky(?) enough to be brought to NYC for trial, pleaded guilty yesterday to the failed hijacking of Hero Captain Richard Phillips' ship. His case is unspeakably sad. But it could be worse!

Perhaps the busiest man in in Hollywood took some time off from filming the Smurfs movie to talk with two winos this morning. Topics ranged from his appearance on Glee to his favorite hobby—the dark arts!

The Olsen twins have finally unloaded the $8.45 million Manhattan penthouse they never lived in.

This rookie construction worker thinks he's macho enough to lift a bag of concrete over his head—until his co-workers bust it open.

Yes, there are other ways to tell someone you're mad at them besides the death stare or the drunken yelling match. Learn how to express what's really on your mind like the composed, mature adult you are.

[NatPo and AshKu film "Friends with Benefits" in LA; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Also going gay is a rock star who's been diddling a boy band member. This actress is looking for a contractually-obligated boyfriend and this actor is stepping out on his wife all over town. Remember, cheaters never win.

Prosecutors say Adam Wheeler committed larceny and identity fraud, stealing $45,000 in Harvard scholarship money. Peers recall a quiet overachiever with a knack for grandiose self-description and a plan to become a lawyer—or so he told them.

Last night's penultimate episode brought closure to some mysteries — Tina Fey doesn't, in fact, mean much to the story — but, of course, teased out new ones too. Specifically, what's Desmond up to?

This cat puts on her dancing shoes for us...ballet slippers to be exact. She executes her pirouette with grace and charm, with a perfect landing to top off her performance. Ballerina kitty, we applaud you.

China has given the world many great trends, like Super-Long Walls and Mixing Things With Noodles. But this whole "Attack a School With Knives For No Apparent Reason" trend is...not your best work, China. Nevertheless, it grows ever more popular.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

We've all seen pictures of the damage caused by BP's oil leak, but here's the first video. Released by BP, it shows just how much oil is being spewed into the water and the failure of their containment dome attempt.

A misplaced passport nearly kept Paris Hilton from Cannes. John Travolta and Kelly Preston are expecting. Sharon Stone regrets looking "like a trout." Heidi Montag's father "fears for her life." Wednesday's gossip will get you through the week.

Sick of all these rich guys' crap, Thai protesters went ahead and set the country's stock exchange on fire today. "Earlier in the day, Thailand's benchmark index finished up 0.7% on hopes for a quick resolution." Efficient-market hypothesis: disproved. [WSJ]

This rule-breaking kid isn't content to use a slide the way it was intended, he has to climb up it. But, as all heroes learn, sometimes we pay for our hubris with a faceplant or two.

Yesterday's suicide car bombing in Kabul pushed the US military casualty count in Afghanistan past one thousand. Pictured is one: Zarian Wood, killed by a bomb last Sunday at the age of 29. [A list of the dead. Pic: FB.]

Three members of the Michigan-based Hutaree militant group have been released pending trial after their March arrest, along with six others, on charges of sedition and plotting to use weapons of mass destruction against police. [Detroit Free Press, pic]

Two days after police responded to a "domestic incident," Mary F. Kennedy, wife of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, was arrested for drunk driving outside of a school. She failed two sobriety tests and registered a blood alcohol level of 0.11%.

[Singer, actress and onetime Diddy dalliance J. Lo performs at the World Music Awards, demonstrating a coordinated jump that took months of practice with her dancers. Pic via Getty.]