New York cops are "livid" as well as "furious" at a proposed new bill that would require them to shoot to "stop" a suspect, rather than to kill. Wha...wha...what are cops, trained snipers? Listen to this outrageous libtard fantasy law:

Pennsylvania rednecks are kidnapping NYC's pigeons for live target practice, calling it "an American tradition."

Peter Galbraith, a former US ambassador, NYRB contributor, and persona non grata at the UN is ready for home state politics. His experience advising Iraqi Kurds in shady oil deals should set him up for a lawmaking career. [AP]

Week Four of Brooklyn Kickball is in full effect! "Scrappy," "The Kaiser" and "The Clarkmeister" are fighting for a title against a tough field of ironically-clad competitors. They even eat cupcakes with beer in them before games. Yay! [NYP, pic]

Security forces stormed drug lord Christopher "Dudus" Coke's hideout in Kingston today as violence spreads, with the BBC reporting at least one solider dead and "bodies lying in the streets." The US wants him extradited on drug and weapons charges.

The North Carolina Republican Party is going after Tea Party congressional candidate Tim D'Annunzio because he is a druggie, deadbeat dad who once found the Ark of the Covenant (in Arizona). And he is ahead in polls.

According to the Hubble Space Telescope, there is a planet, with the unbelievably cool name of Wasp-12b, currently being "eaten" by a star. It only has 10 million years left, so enjoy it while it lasts. [BBC; pic via NASA]

Catherine Ariemma is a history teacher at Lumpkin County High School in Dahlonega, Georgia. She has "a perfect record." Until now! Because she let a bunch of her students dress up in Klan outfits, in school, for a "video assignment."

Some 2,000 metric tons of oil have spilled in the Singapore Strait.

In 2009, 51 New York City bus drivers took paid leave after being spat upon, taking, on average, three months off. And guess whose fault it is? The MTA, of course, for pissing people off by cutting service. [NYT; pic]

The Environmental Protection Agency ordered BP to stop using the toxic dispersant Corexit to break up their oil mess in the Gulf of Mexico. BP decided to keep on using it. And why not? They're basically in charge down there.

A study of Australian teenagers found that muscular male models generated more or less the same response as "men of more average dimensions." Luckily, the Situation has a great personality to fall back on. [SMH; pic via Bauer-Griffin]

Good news! President Obama has given his stamp of approval to a compromise on repealing the Pentagon's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy, which effectively bars gay people from serving in the military. It might even happen this week!

In September 2001, miscarriages for male fetuses rose 12% over the average across the country, possibly due to "communal bereavement" and stress over the World Trade Center attacks. There is basically nothing that 9/11 didn't just utterly mess up. [NYDN]

Today show anchor Ann Curry spoke at Wheaton College's commencement on Saturday. But which Wheaton?! There are two—a Christian school in Illinois, and a nondenominational college in Norton, Massachusetts. Curry did not choose the right one.

Paul Grey, bassist for metal band Slipknot, has died. Police don't suspect foul play.

Anjelah Johnson perfectly imitates the awkward experience at the nail salon that every woman (and some lucky men) have had.

David Byrne, former frontman of the Talking Heads, is suing Florida Governor and Senate candidate Charlie Crist for using the band's song "Road to Nowhere" in campaign ads. Who knew Charlie Crist had good taste? Plus: Talking Heads jokes!

[Flawless Secretary of State Hillary Clinton inadvertently intercepts Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and Chinese Vice Premier Wang Qishan when they try to shake hands today in Beijing. Image via Getty]

The Washington Post ran a de facto Facebook press release in its op-ed section today. It was a bizarre decision; the newspaper's already embroiled in one ethics scandal, so why cuddle up to a close, public friend of the paper?