[Michael Patrick King and the gals (and a guy) at the "Sex and the City 2" premiere in Tokyo, Japan; image via Splash]

Federal authorities are opening criminal and civil investigations into the oil spill.

A good way to motivate your workers is to establish an employee of the month program. A good way to annoy your employees and viewers is to name yourself the employee of the month. Good job, Buddy!

Feeling young and free while blowing lines in the bathroom of some glitzy LES rat hole? Well, you won't look young for long. Scientists are finding that 80% of impure cocaine in the US contains a chemical that rots flesh.

What's the best part of Lady Gaga's Larry King Live interview tonight? It's not her talk about lupus, Michael Jackson, or "don't ask, don't tell." It's her fabulous variation of the CNN host's famous uniform. They're practically twins!

Tipper and Al Gore tell friends they "grew apart," but there was no affair involved.

TONIGHT: A new episode of Glee plus a great documentary on HBO make this a pretty good night of TV viewing. Also, premieres of Hell's Kitchen, America's Got Talent and Losing It with Jillian in the mix.

Last night's "My Super Sweet 9-Year-Old Birthday" edition of The Real Housewives of New Jersey showed us how real Jersey girls are made. Some parents wouldn't even consider a Power Wheels, and this girl gets an ATV.

Real Housewife Countess LuAnn de Lesseps' first music video was leaked last week. After wondering what she did to get her face to look so different, we talked to the creative director of the shoot. He revealed all.

Today at Gawker.TV, Pee Wee Herman stopped by The View, ABC's True Beauty highlights the ugliest personalities in America, Drew Carey lived out of his car, and a look back at Tyra Banks' last week on daytime television.

Congratulations to harlow02us for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Tonight! Peek inside New Jersey's famous "couture boutique," Diane & Co., to see Diana Scali and her daughters Kimberly and Christina outfit New Jersey's glamazons for special occasions. Jersey Couture premieres tonight on Oxygen! Trailer below.

"The Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that suspects must explicitly tell police they want to be silent to invoke Miranda protections during criminal interrogations." You must speak your right to silence. Makes perfect sense, here on Mars. [AP via Wonkette. Related.]

Ever wondered exactly what the programming rubric entails over at E! Entertainment Television? The Soup suggests every show has a common theme. Don't believe it? Well, the proof is in the pudding, and that pudding is made of dog shit.

Anne Womack-Kolton is either the best PR person in the biz, or an evil demon. (Both?) Having served as the Cheney-monster's press secretary during the 2004 election, Womack-Kolton has been tapped by the petrol concern to spin their mess. She-Devil!!!!

The Way We Live Now: Giving up on it all. Why not just walk away? From your mortgage. From your, haha, "job," if it existed. From the crappy bus, and your crappy investments. And your art...well, keep the art.

In this awesome commercial for Li Ning—aka the low-budget version of Nike—Argentina's 2004 Olympic Gold Medal winning basketball team maneuvers the court as a cascade of killer plants (Triffids?) tries to stop the men from scoring. Video inside.

After five years, The Tyra Show and host Tyra Banks took their final bow last week. Never fear, as these moments from her final week on air prove that our beloved Tyra won't ever change her ways.

Hedge funder Phil Falcone and his wife Lisa Maria have a grand vision for the $49 million townhouse they bought from Bob Guccione. A peek at their plans show the redesigned home will be as eccentrically awesome as the original.

Fox and Friends disparaged Nancy Pelosi's ideas after her recent envisioning of health care reform easing artistic burden. The friends seem to think "health care reform" means "failed artists become destitute welfare check recipients and ruin the American economy."