Terrible possible news for the California Republican party: the most famous and eccentric birther in America, Orly Taitz, could win her GOP primary tomorrow for California secretary of state—a high-ranking position that involves certifying election results!

Shep Smith gets excited frequently. Whether it's a car chase, a puppy rescue, or anything else, really, it's a good bet that Smith will geek out over it. Today, he couldn't contain his glee while reporting on a rogue bear.

Yesterday's post on Surra de Bunda, a Brazilian dance move in which a female rapidly buffets a man's face with her rear, brought a wealth of new information. Chiefly: Surra de Bunda does not mean "ass licking" but "butt fighting."

Today we looked at how lesbian moms raise perfect children. Is it simply because they're lesbians? Well, no, probably not. One commenter offered a simple and completely convincing argument for why this phenomenon might exist.

If you watch this and find yourself dreaming of being adopted by this family, no one will blame you. Purists beware: they seem to use cookies in the place of mushrooms. Video inside.

Lesbian kisses are a dime a dozen nowadays, and the ladies of The View are soooooo over it. But not enough to refrain from discussing their own same sex smooches, it seems. Video inside.

On today's Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough got chewed out by Mika Brzezinski. And while bickering between the two hosts is nothing new (remember this?), the fact that they were arguing over Scarborough's overuse of Boingo made it all the better.

When the oil spill hit, Florida ran ads assuring tourists that "Our Coast Is Clear." The ad's now been amended: There are "plenty of places" in Florida not soaking in toxic oil. Your chances are still good! [Adfreak]

Steve Jobs is the king of product demos, which only makes his glitchy unveiling of the new iPhone today all the more embarrassing. Witness the Apple chief's seething frustration on stage—and guess how many employees he'll fire. [Gizmodo]

TONIGHT: Highlights include the season finale of Nurse Jackie and more fighting on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Plus, the premieres of Last Comic Standing, Persons Unknown and Good Guys.

Prince Segala, a California woman whose kids were kidnapped by her ex-husband in 1995, reconnected with them recently after she searched Facebook for her daughter's name and found her profile. Welcome to the new milk carton.

Sorry, Scarlett! It's just what's going to happen. Also today: some truly frightening Dexter casting, the weirdest movie ever made, and Tom Cruise's Les Grossman might star in his own fucking movie.

The new status symbol for hedge funders and corporate tycoons: feminine bracelets worn on their wrists next to their expensive watches. It's an "I'm so insanely rich, I get to break the rules" kinda thing, apparently.

If you're a female celebrity and you haven't gone girl-on-girl before a crowd of roaring, adoring males, you're probably gay. Last night, Sandra kissed Scarlett as revenge on Jesse. How did lesbian kisses become the ultimate mainstream display of hetero-desirability?

Neon green is everyone's color. The new Diesel X-Ray watch collection features transparent neon-green sections that reveal the innards of each style. Rock one, and you'd better be prepared to respond to, "Dude, wheredja get that watch?" a million times a day.

The Way We Live Now: Celebrating the infallibility of economics. Why doesn't the mainstream media inform you of the upside of this recession? For every drawback, there's a draw-forward. You don't see everyone taking sick days any more, do you?

New York's attorney general is investigating complaints that Apple mistreated customers of Asian descent at Gotham stores, demanding to see their passports, saying their English sucked and, worst of all, denying them precious, sweet iPads.

As White House spokespeople are constantly saying on television, Energy Secretary Steven Chu is a Nobel laureate. Now he's down in the Gulf working hard to fix the oil spill. But do the BP bullies respect his magical powers?

[The clotheshorse formerly known as Carrie Bradshaw walks son James Wilke Broderick to school in the West Village. Image via Splash.]

Here's a little news that ought to put starving people the world over in good spirits this blah Monday: an Australian cafe has made the world's biggest hamburger. It's 178lbs and costs $1500. It takes four men to flip. [Reuters]