Please adopt me! I am adorable! Bask in my cuteness!

She lives with both her manager and his wife. This actress got caught getting nasty in the ladies' room—with another lady. A celeb wife has a hard time with her hard-partying hubby. They would do anything for love.

[Madonna arrives at Heathrow after a trip to New York; image via Splash]

Mika Brzezinski discusses politics and current events with ease. Unfortunately, a pop culture expert she is not. In this segment brilliantly titled "Hanging with Mr. Cooper," Bradley exposes her ignorance.

Investigative reporters earlier this week firmly established the desire of today's high school kids to tap that. Could anyone object to this most basic expression of love, jealousy, and horniness? Sexpert Andrea Peyser will try to pretend she does.

Now that Madonna's a swinging single cougar, Gwyn refuses to study Kabbalah with her. Star Jones writes The Devil Wears Prada about Barbara Walters. Britney faces two sex scandals. Heidi Montag just wants one. Thursday gossip has an achy-breaky heart.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

This morning, Meredith Vieira interviewed a thirteen year-old girl who is a possible accomplice in a beating that resulted from a text message war. She mentioned some of the language used, including one word not appropriate for television.

This baby can't decide if it wants to take a nap or watch some t.v. with his brother. Opt for the nap, you can always watch the show later online.

Thirteen year-old Kayla Manson went on the Today Show this morning to discuss being charged as an accomplice in a vicious "text rage" beating that left her friend nearly dead. They asked Kayla what the mean text messages said. Mistake.

Subway is gross, but just in case you live in Illinois and want to "take a bite out of summer," perhaps you should think twice—60 people who have eaten there are reported to have Salmonella poisoning. [FPJ]

The 2010 World Cup is here! Okay, so Americans couldn't care less about soccer, but the rest of the world is excited: Brits are ditching work, South Africa has cleaned up, and Somalis are watching their necks, literally.

The Melvins have oddly made the Billboard Top 200 for the first time in 26 years.

[With investors afraid of Barack Obama's new found anger, BP's share price dropped another 11% in early trading on the London FTSE. BP says, "The company is not aware of any reason which justifies this share price movement." Image: AP]

A rookie NYPD officer, who was fired after testing positive for cocaine use, says he drank coca tea but was "unaware of the tea's connection with cocaine." His girlfriend's mom gave him the Mate de Coca. [NYDN]

On Monday, a US Border Patrol agent on a bike shot and killed a 15-year-old Mexican boy for allegedly throwing rocks at him. When FBI agents arrived, Mexican authorities drew their weapons. Updated: Univision has video of the shooting.

Louisiana prison inmate Joe Lewis, perhaps inspired by The Butt Smuggler, was caught trying to sneak cigarettes, four muscle relaxers and chewing tobacco back into jail inside his prosthetic leg from a work release program. Four pills? Weak. [TheTownTalk]

Apple remains silent on the breached privacy of upwards of 114,000 iPad owners, leaving its partner AT&T to apologize for the mishap—and to struggle to contain the PR damage.

BP may or may not be going bankrupt. But the hotels in Florida are certainly hurting. Potential visitors in the Midwest are being scared away by images of the coast mired in gunk. Deals to the rescue! Or… not?

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with a hilarious "Indecision 2010" segment in which he noted the media's shift from calling yesterday's primary elections an "anti-incumbent" event to a "girl power" one, after most incumbents were victorious. Video inside.