Toronto went off this weekend! The G-20 summit was held there, so some angry Canadians converged on the city to protest, burn and loot. Who are these violent anarchists? They came in from Quebec, naturally.

West Virginia Senator Robert C. Byrd died today at age 92, after being hospitalized for heat exhaustion and severe dehydration last week. Byrd was the longest serving member of Congress in US history. [Washington Post]

Faced with a government shutdown at 12:01am tomorrow, Governor Paterson said if lawmakers don't go along with his budget plans, he will "veto everything." Paterson wants to cut $500 million in new spending the legislature added to his budget proposal.

Tropical Storm Alex could soon be upgraded to a hurricane, but is expected to miss the oil spill area.

In 2005, a 37-mile-long, 26-foot-wide crack opened up in Afar, Ethiopia, over the course of ten days. Turns out, it's a brand-new ocean. You just have to wait about 10 million years.

What is the deal with airline food? Good question! Turns out, the deal with airline food is that it is made at facilities containing roach carcasses "too numerous to count." And that's just one of the FDA reports!

Congressman Louis Gohmert (R - TX, of course), who compared Obama to Hitler last week, has uncovered a devious plot: Pregnant terrorists, immigrating to the U.S. and having American-citizen-terrorist babies. Louie Gohmert: Voting on laws that affect you every day!

Tonight, members of Conan O'Brien's writing team performed their own material, hilariously tackling taboo subjects and even featuring a ballad performed by Reggie Watts, openly criticizing women's ridiculous bag choices and long bathroom visits. Video of our favorite parts, inside.

Why did 42-year-old Darin Badami of Omaha, Nebraska, grow marijuana? "Adolph Hitler made me grow it," Mr. Badami told police. This is called the "Nuremberg Defense," and it didn't work for the Nazis. But good luck, Darin! [WOWT via BullfightsOnAcid]

On tonight's episode of Scoundrels, we learned that cougars need to remember to not take younger hook-ups too seriously, and that high school crushes should not take priority over best friends (especially if said best friend is secretly obsessed).

After a six-week manhunt, police arrested the "mysterious ex-con" Brian Alexik, a 34-year-old weirdo with a cache of weapons, counterfeiting equipment and a weird relationship with the CIA. So is this guy the real-life Jason Bourne, or what?

Tonight, Chris Brown (yes, him) performed a "tribute" to Michael Jackson at the BET Awards. After a few minutes of showing off his dance moves, Brown got ~emotional~ and, in turn, transformed the tribute into something obnoxiously self-serving. Video inside.

Sergio "El Shaka" Vega, a narcocorrido singer, was shot in Sinaloa while driving his red Cadillac, becoming at least the seventh musician murdered in Mexico in three years. He had denied rumors of his death hours before the killing. [BBC]

If Jim Gaffigan's routine can be seen as a dissertation on food, his thesis is Hot Pockets. Caliente Pockets!

Joe Biden at a frozen custard store: What could go wrong? Somehow, Biden kept his fingers out of the big vat of custard, but he ended up calling the manager a "smartass" after he told him to lower taxes. Another instance of the Obama administration's anti-custard rhetoric? No. They were just joking.

"Large patches" of crude from the BP oil spill today reached the Mississippi coast for the first time, hitting beaches 10 miles from Biloxi. State Department of Environmental Quality: "We can't do anything because [BP has] all the money." [Reuters]

The Times today explores the trend of high schools naming more than one person—as many as ten!—their Valedictorian. Some people are worried that this might dilute the honor of being named high school valedictorian, which is akin to worrying that water might dilute the bottle of urine someone is forcing you to drink.

Are you anticipating The Social Network as highly as we are? It's this movie about a deranged psycho who kills people by strangling them with their own small intestines. No, wait. It's about a nerd who founded a popular website.