During the news roundup on Fox & Friends, the gang presented this clip of a gas station accident in Alabama. If you've ever wondered what would happen if you ran into a gas pump, this video is your answer.

The NYT Magazine is online with a hot new profile of Lindsey Graham, the Senate's most ubiquitous fifty-something lispy bachelor. And he finally addresses those gay rumors that have followed him throughout his career, saying "I ain't gay." Feisty much?

Afshan Azad, who plays Padma Patil in the popular film series, was reportedly attacked at her Manchester home by family members. Her father and brother appeared in court yesterday and were charged with threatening to kill the 22-year-old college student.

In your futuristic Thursday media column: Sam Zell has seen the old-fashioned future, Dan Abrams luvs sexxxy vids, Chinese propagandists invade Times Square, and the NYT spit-shines the shoes of each and every government bureaucrat, as a matter or policy.

Liza Minnelli was on HSN last night to hawk her jewelry line, which she started after being immobilized—and, ergo, bored—by a bum knee. Predictably, it was crazy, and luckily, fourfour's Rich Juzwiak made a highlight reel. Video inside.

When repeatedly told to avoid a dangerous object, it's only rational to do the opposite and face plant directly into it, as this girl demonstrates for us.

That's a lot of money! Anguilla must be so embarrassed. Also today: Meryl Streep as the Iron Lady, two vampiresses team up to kill people, Judd Apatow heads to the Playhouse, and Scream finds another victim.

America's most prestigious stenographers, the White House correspondents, are not likely to ask their usual sharp, insightful questions "this week." They're preoccupied with the real 2010 elections: those for the White House Correspondents' Association board. Blood will be shed.

In Apple's marketing, the new iPhone "changes everything" and is "indispensable." But when an irate customer complained he couldn't live without reception on his new iPhone, CEO Steve Jobs told him to "calm down... you're getting worked up over... rumors."

French affirmative action! Sexism in surveys! Oakland police racism riots! Gay Googlers! Blacks allowed to own land! It's your Thursday Equality Watch, where we watch equality—from a position of superiority!

Usually the pageant kids and parents featured on Toddlers and Tiaras are of a hyperactive, sequined outfit loving, and incredibly pushy ilk. However, Liana and her mom Mary are, shall we say, a little bit different. Okay, a lot different.

["All Packed Up and Ready For the World Cup!" tweets the woman single-handedly keeping the logo luggage industry alive. Paris later tweeted photos of herself lounging on her private jet's bed and pretending to steer it. Via Paris Hilton's Twitpic.]

TMZ reports that Tiger Woods' soon-to-be-ex Elin Nordegren won't walk away with the $750 million that sources were claiming she'd get. They don't list an amount, but claim it's better than she'd do in the prenup. Let the guessing begin!

When Julianne Moore stopped by David Letterman's couch last night, the two started out talking about how Julianne got carpal tunnel syndrome from texting too much. Yet somehow, they ended up talking about masturbators who fly first class.

How much do we hate Chris Brown? This much: An "insider" says he used eyedrops for his recent onstage sob-fest. This is what happens when you're hell-bent on getting America to forgive you: We turn you into our whipping boy.

This fun little interview with Jason Segel and Lucy, who's ten, is a combination of adorably cute and funny. Watch her ask the hard questions—from his recent remarks about HIMYM to his relationship with Paul Rudd.

S&P is so slick! The credit-rating agency has comically put rival Moody's on its watch list for a downgrade, replete with a lecture about how reform legislation (that applies to both firms) will devastate Moody's, only. Oh, it's on now.

Apparently weight gain, missed cycles, and feeling all pregnant and stuff is not enough warning for today's couples on the go. It's a bad sign when even your dramatic reenactment shows you confused by what comes out of a uterus.

CBS News brought in a helicopter to get footage of these two poor little guys. How they got into the Bronx is anyone's guess, but it was a nice choice because the Brooklyn Target is always packed.

A new study shows that money does buy happiness, after all. No shit.