Want to hear some pretty disturbing news? The Gulf of Mexico has at least 27,000 abandoned oil and gas wells, and no one has bothered to check if they are leaking. Some even date back to the 1940s.

[Researchers at the University of Cambridge say that meerkats have proven to be the first known mammals to pass on traditions, like sleeping in late, through generations. Telegraph; AP]

Who: The son of real estate developer Charles Kushner, Jared is also the proud owner of the Upper East Side's favorite weekly, the New York Observer. His wife is Ivanka Trump.

The infamous Southern California booby trapping drug dealer, Nicholas John Smit, has been arrested and will face charges in court today for allegedly setting deadly traps to kill police officers after he was arrested for growing weed.

Wal-Mart has spent over $1 million fighting a $7,000 fine over the stampede death of a Long Island employee on Black Friday in 2008. The store says "crowd trampling" is not an occupational hazard. Image is everything in retail.

[This is what 10 p.m. looks like at Cook Inlet in Alaska, about 27 miles south of Anchorage. Bet it's not 100 degrees there, either. Pic via AP]

The U.S. Postal Service, which is a thing you will enjoy describing to your grandchildren, wants to raise the price of first-class stamps by two cents, to 46 cents. That is still a huge bargain! Go write a letter! [WSJ]

What do terrorists do, when they're not hating us for our freedoms, and faking Hawaiian birth certificates? They play soccer! Yes, the favorite sport of America-hating European secularists is also the favorite sport of a bunch of violent dogmatic jerks.

[Alex Mupondi hangs one dollar notes on a drying line after washing them in Harare, Zimbabwe. Singles last years in Zimbabwe, which recently declared the U.S. dollar legal tender, and need to be laundered, literally. Photo via AP.]

Voting has closed on the unofficial poll to determine a destination for Canadian song-and-dance-man Justin Bieber's upcoming tour. And North Korea won! But not because the desperate, starving populace voted for him. It was because of the internet. LOL! [Faxo]

Last month, Andrew Auernheimer, a member of the group that exposed a major AT&T/iPad security flaw, was arrested for possession of drugs. Now, in a long post on the group's blog, he claims that his civil rights have been violated.

Researchers found that some native English speakers were unable to understand the sentence "The soldier was hit by the sailor," indicating that grammar may not be "universal." FYI: It means the sailor (boats) hit the soldier (tanks). [Science Daily]

Photographs from actress Lindsay Lohan's probation violation hearing today—where she was sentenced to 90 days in prison—reveal a, um, secret message from Lindsay. A secret, curse-word message. That she wrote on her fingernail. Click through for more evidence.

Tonight on Larry King Live—the show of our generation and several previous ones—three people who have little or no contact with Lindsay Lohan (namely her father, Michael) discussed her 90-day jail sentence. Michael's reaction? "Satisfaction," baby! Video inside.

From Kellogg's cereal, to SpaghettiOs, to Toyota/Lexus—ah, Toyota/Lexus!—and more, corporations have been issuing an abnormal amount of recall notices lately. Luckily for us, Lewis Black visited The Daily Show tonight to break it all down... hilariously. Video inside.

Let's say you were a 19-year-old suspected thief, part-time airplane hijacker and Facebook icon who just tore through the Pacific northwest and the upper midwest. Where do you go next? How about... the Bahamas?

The Pennsylvania widow who lived with two corpses will be allowed to keep the bodies "if she installs a mausoleum or crypt."

It's hard not to love a man who tells it like it is. Watch as Carlin says what we're all thinking; shut up about your children.

Still bummed you fell for the Back to the Future today-is-the-day-Marty-McFly-traveled-to hoax? Console yourself with DIY auto-lacing shoes inspired by Back to the Future 2. It's no hoverboard, but it's lazy, which is what the future is all about. [Make]

Actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail today. Intrepid Gawker intern Molly Fitzpatrick watched the whole hearing. (Danny DeVito was there, for some reason!) Here is her story. It is the Inherit the Wind of our time.