The House was back, briefly, from its month-long vacation today for a quickie vote on a $26 billion jobs bill. It passed! But then Rep. Charlie Rangel made members stick around for another half-hour, to yell about his innocence.

Watch as the two alpha males are pestered into sharing food with the female chimps on The Human Spark. Thus, showing that even in the animal kingdom most men, if threatened or nagged to death, will succumb to female demands.

TONIGHT: A brand new episode of The Rachel Zoe Project (literally), the season premiere of Flipping Out (ZOILA!), the season finale of Hell's Kitchen, plus new episodes of Pretty Little Liars, America's Got Talent, and much, much more!

Yes, NBC is sallying forth, trying to figure out what to do with The Office once he leaves. They have some ideas! Also today: Casting news about actors playing singers, descendants of singers becoming actors, and two hunks.

This awesome girl, supposedly named Jenny, got fed up with her disgusting boss and quit her job via 33 photos of statements written on a dry erase board. She then sent them in an email to the entire office.

Noble pancake painter-of-the-stars Dan Lacey is doing his part to assist poor incarcerated hero maniac flight attendant Steven Slater—through art. Proceeds from this majestic insta-painting all go to Steven. Plus, see how nice it looks? Bid now. [EBay]

Today at Gawker.TV, Aubrey Plaza reflects upon her days paging at 30 Rock, a misogynistic jerk on Dating in the Dark, a very sore loser onLast Comic Standing, and Christina Hendricks first TV appearance on MTV's Undressed.

Congratulations to Lazarou for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Hooray, revenue! Twitter has just hired its first two sales executives, who will tout Twitter as a very engaging platform for users and, thus, advertisers. Trouble is it hasn't been a very engaging platform for the two executives in question.

Today the New York Daily News tries to blame Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods, Naomi Campbell and Levi Johnston's recent mishaps on the summer heat. "Sizzling summer meltdowns," the headline screams. Unfortunately, the two are completely unrelated.

Jason Bateman got to work it like a stripper as he got all slutty and waxed for his dancer video. Unfortunately, he had to let go another actress in order to sling on his heels and strip off his clothes.

The Way We Live Now: embracing peace out of necessity. The days of unlimited defense budgets are over, for at least a year or two. As are the days of inflation, optimism, and stable money market accounts. It's a party!

[Fresh from testifying in court about an African dictator giving her blood diamonds as a gift, physically abusive supermodel Naomi Campbell relaxes on a Russian yacht. Bar Rafaeli was also present. Image via Splash.]

Called to testify against the Sarah Palin email "hacker," 4chan founder Chris Poole somehow found himself delivering a federal courtroom tutorial on the meaning of "newfag" and other slang from his anarchic message board. Lulz are now in session.

The Daily Ten's Ben Lyons does his best to shake things up during these routine press junkets, and here he manages catch Jennifer Aniston completely off-guard regarding Jason Bateman, her co-star from The Break-Up and now The Switch.

A mysterious woman brought two car loads of chihuahuas to a local shelter, abandoning a total of 43 chihuahuas in 24 hours. Did a Canadian pet shelter just save 43 puppies from the Cruella De Vil of chihuahuas?

Amoral, bigoted Newt Gingrich is the subject of a new Esquire profile in which his second wife (he's on the third now) dishes about their 2000 divorce. Shorter version: Newt Gingrich is a special kind of asshole.

This week, RuPaul's Drag U contestants were none other than his very own sistas. Once all done up in drag, you could see Ru in all three of his siblings! Trippy.

Ladies and gentleman, it's fight night and things are about to get hairy. Starting this evening at 10/9c, ten cut-throat stylists are taking it out of the salon and into the ring for a blowout like you've never seen. Hair Battle Spectacular premieres tonight on Oxygen.

Shakespalin dared to stand up to a critic today and met questions about her time as mayor with "protecting the Constitution." In similarly laughable news, Levi has announced a Wasilla mayorship bid.