New Alzheimers test! DNA for cancer! Grownups with pediatricians! Questions about statins! Patella band analysis! The science of sleep! And belly fat of doom! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—or do we?

Last night's episode of Huge culminated in the dreaded first weigh-in at Camp Victory. In this clip, watch the campers endure an emotional roller coaster when each finally steps on the scale.

We all dream about quitting our jobs in some spectacular fashion, but flight attendant Steven Slater actually did it! He's not the first one to go out on a high note. Tell us your great tales (or fantasies) of quitting!

White House press secretary was so nasty to whiny liberals — sorry, the "professional left" — in an interview published this morning, getting everyone all worked up. Now he's in the apology stage, calling his comments "inartful" and counterproductive.

On last night's episode of everyone's favorite meatball soup, we traveled to the beautiful, garbage-strewn shores of the native country, mother It'ly. It was a lovely trip. Let me show you all the pictures.

Today Gabby stopped by Regis and Kelly and in an awkward twist, Regis threw to a clip from the show—a clip of Gabby being brutally insulted. Gabby grins as a collective murmur is audible. Enjoy.

Now that everyone has gotten over the shock of HP CEO Mark Hurd getting ejected on an August Friday afternoon—with the timing of the announcement obviously chosen to minimize bad PR—people are looking more closely at the details.

During a teen awards program, these two "old ladies" really stole the show. As Sandra Bullock accepted yet another award for The Blind Side, Betty White surprised her on stage by shaking her goodies and getting down and dirty.

On last night's Hoarders, clutter prevents a sick man from using a helpful breathing machine. He is suicidal about his home, which could soon be taken from him due to the mess, yet still says it's "not nasty."

In your trendy Tuesday media column: another big name leaves Newsweek, ProPublica's employees are shockingly well-compensated, magazine trends examined, more freelance payment fuckery, and OK! is not OK!

[Leighton Meester and blond rival Clemence Poesy both get their panties in a twist about something on the set of Gossip Girl. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

This is The Situation's friend "The Unit" modeling the first release from his new clothing line, DILLIGAF. The design is classic Jersey Shore, clearly but just wait until you hear what the name of his line stands for.

RJ and Miles break into their teacher's house to steal answers for an upcoming test, with help from Miles' Iraq veteran brother, Chet. But things get a little FUBAR for poor Chet after crossing enemy lines...

A former aide and longtime friend of ex-Sen. Ted Stevens says Stevens was killed in an Alaskan plane crash. Update: Outlets are confirming that Stevens' family has been told of his death and are preparing a statement.

Fox News' super-funny Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld wants to open a gay bar that "caters to... Islamic gay men" next to Cordoba House, a.k.a. the Ground Zero Mosque, because Muslims are homophobic. Savvy! Go for it, Greg. Seriously.

A "whistleblowing cop" in Brooklyn's 81st precinct is planning to file a $50 million suit against the NYPD today, claiming the city put him in a padded cell so he couldn't blow the lid off his unit's crime stat corruption.

In the video below you will see a father implying to her daughter that it's ok to have sex, just not at "Med Camp." Perhaps this show should really be called The Not-So Secret Life...

Chris Harrison talked to Jimmy Kimmel last night about how the contestants are extremely good looking but all they have to offer is their sex drive. Apparently this leads them to do things that are probably "illegal in 49 states."

This clip from yesterday's SportsNation re-affirms all of our "NASCAR Fan" stereotypes, as if it were a cut scene from Talladega Nights. Seriously, if this guy's name isn't "Bubba" or "Cooter," then I'm Robert E. Lee.

Fed up with "Yuppies"—and the city officials who "allow them into the neighborhood"—some lunatic is injecting Krazy Glue into random bike locks in fauxhemian Williamsburg, for justice. "No bike is safe." Goodness. [Brooklyn Paper; Pic via]