TONIGHT: We've got the series premieres of Melissa and Joey (that is, Joan Hart and Lawrence, respectively) and Big Lake, plus new episodes of Flipping Out, America's Got Talent, Shaq Vs., Teen Mom, The Rachel Zoe Project, and much more!

American Apparel's stock plunged 27 percent today after the company's long-delayed second quarter financial results revealed falling sales and dim prospects for improvement. Is bankruptcy on the horizon?

Plastic surgeon to the stars, Dr. Frank Ryan, accidentally drove his car off the Pacific Coast Highway yesterday and died. He performed 10 surgeries in one day on Heidi Montag, who is still surviving the car wreck of her life.

On last night's The Ultimate Catch, Ericka snitches to Chad that Rubi's true colors have come out: she is "always singing." So, obviously, the only logical explanation is that Rubi is solely on the show to boost her career.

Today at Gawker.TV, Joey Lawrence explains the origin of his "whoa," Stephen Colbert takes on gay marriage, Betty White chats about her guest spot on Community, and Justin Long, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis play hosts to the WWE.

Congratulations to cray.cray for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Bumrushed by a thief on the street, an innocent female shrieked: Her cellphone had been stolen! Just then, a Vespa scooted onto the scene. Chromed wheels shining like justice, its passengers chased down the bandit and retrieved the maiden's phone.

Do you ever complain about your job? Watch this; never complain again. These men work in such high stress/heat atmospheres that an easy day for them is scaling a 45 degree cliff with forestry supplies equivalent to their body weight.

Jersey Shore guidette Snooki supposedly broke up with her last boyfriend because he was using her for fame. Her newest beau may be doing the same thing. Let's take a look at his online acting profile, shall we?

Wyclef's campaign for the presidency of Haiti has brought predictable scrutiny on his time at the head of Yele Haiti—the badly mismanaged charity whose problems have been cataloged here before. But there's more—he rented a lion! For charity?

Like most magicians, illusionists, mentalists, and mindfreaks that go on talk shows it's their jobs to showcase their skills on television. Apparently, Criss Angel is so good Jimmy Kimmel believes he can capture Osama bin Laden.

Paris Hilton's "next project" will be joining the family business as a hotelier. "I've pretty much done all you can do," she explains. She'll be a natural with hotels because she has been "growing up in it my whole life."

A Wisconsin priest slapped "God Squad" on his black Volkswagen beetle and almost got slapped with a trademark lawsuit from Best Buy. Ultimately, the retail giant won and Father Luke Strand removed the logo after a cease and desist order.

Chris Anderson will generate plenty of chatter with his "The Web is Dead" Wired cover, foretold here previously. Fair enough; that's what a smart magazine editor does. But all the more reason to note the rich ironies in his eulogy.

Sarah Palin is a self-proclaimed "Mama Grizzly" (background here) who wants to "protect [her] cubs" from EVIL things like liberals and the lamestream media. Problem is: Palin presumed all Mama Grizzlies agreed with her on the issues. Well, they don't.

Kevin Kristopik, the Michigan teen whose number was tweeted by Justin Bieber on Saturday in a fit of vengeful rage, was on MSNBC today for an interview with Tony Alexander about the incident. It was hilariously awkward—video inside.

LOL, oldie newspaper The New York Times is finally like "Derrr, we said 'hipster' 250 times last year, is that too much? Should we change?" Yea too bad we already solved that problem like one million years ago, LOL. [Pic]

Joey Lawrence stopped by Regis and Kelly to discuss his latest project, but who wants to hear about that? Today, as I'm sure it always does, the conversation shifted to his Blossom days and Joe told his story of "Whoa!"

Justin Long, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis promoted their new movie Going the Distance on WWE by becoming wrestling's Masters of Ceremonies for one night. We'd be lying if we said we weren't disappointed in the lack of Green Man.

On Lopez Tonight, Aubrey Plaza discusses her work experiences prior to being an actress. Of the many waitressing jobs that she got fired from one of the most memorable was being a cocktail waitress in a bowling alley/secret nightclub.