This is just plain odd. Here's a clip from Joaquin Phoenix's I'm Still Here, featuring Phoenix visiting Sean "Diddy" Combs to discuss a record project. Friendly introductory chatter quickly turns to contentious, profanity-filled awkwardness as Combs lectures Phoenix about money.

Scientists have definitively proved that overhearing a cellphone conversation is more distracting than overhearing a normal conversation. It's because you only hear a "half-a-logue," which is less predictable and therefore requires more mental power to parse and ignore.

Today is Colonel Sanders' 120th birthday and he celebrated by making an appearance in the Early Show audience. He later stopped by to check out the Double Down sandwich and promptly went back to being dead.

On last nights episode of LA Ink, Kat Von D's friend Rooftop engaged Kat's then boyfriend Nikki Sixx in a prank war. The Motley Crue bassist then quickly taught him a lesson in playing with fire.

After he does this one movie, that's it. It can never get better. Also today: Natalie Portman might be shot into space and left there, TV actresses get TV deals, Joan Holloway gets a new assignment, and nerd news.

Before he dropped out of Harvard to build Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg was an officer at the Jewish fraternity Alpha Epsilon Pi, where the scrawny young computer geek had a ferocious nickname, according to a classmate.

Tonight, Nikita, the stealthy, sexy, spy-y new show from the CW, is slinking towards a TV near you. Starring Maggie Q. (a woman who's last name already makes her sound like a secret agent), Nikita is about a bad girl turned bad-ass who relentlessly chases bad guys.

Waterbridge Elementary School in Orlando, Florida was locked down this week due to a suspicious package/bomb scare. But wait... it turns out that it was a TOY PONY. But they still blew it up! The hilarious local news report, inside.

Well, this is pretty amazing: here's Guillaume Reymond's latest stop-motion video for his GAME OVER Project. This time, it's a game of Pac-Man—and it stars 111 real, live people. Get your nostalgia on, and be amazed, inside.

Steve Jobs released rules, apparently in his own words, outlining creative correctness in Apple's App Store. The Apple CEO's "guidelines" are arbitrary, prudish and almost comically despotic. But at least now they're written down and exposed to public scrutiny.

The New York Times prints readers' celebrity sightings. Congrats on inventing this new thing!

The Gallup World Giving Index ranked the world's countries by how generous they are. The fat, rich, spoiled United States of America came in fifth. Fifth! It's a national shame! So who's first?

In your second edition of today's "Interesting Animal Videos" celebration (see a monkey riding a pig-like creature here), here's a sea lion doing sit-ups—yes, real sit-ups—while "Eye of the Tiger" plays in the background. The unlikely clip, inside.

A dozen American soldiers in Afghanistan are being charged in connection with an alleged string of murders of Afghani civilians "for sport." Investigators say the soldiers killed random civilians, and took their fingers as souvenirs.

Britney hasn't exactly denied her bodyguard's claim that she had sex in front of her sons, beat them, and poisoned them. Instead, she issued a statement noting Children's Services investigated her, but didn't take away her kids. So there! [BritneySpears.com]

Stark County, Ohio's GOP picked its nominee for treasurer last night! You knew that, sure, but here's the meeting's highlight anyway: terrifying candidate Phil Davison screaming, pacing, and half-crying in the most insane stump speech ever. He lost! Clip below.

In your class warrior Thursday media column: the media is congenitally unable to stop covering stupid stories, Mississippi's Fresh Air censor resigns, more theories of David Westin's departure, and Paste magazine freelancers are left high and dry.

Lourdes Leon spent her summer launching a tween clothing line with mom Madonna, and yesterday was her first day at LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts, the public school that Fame was based on. Let's see how it went.

Straight out of Japan, here's your WTF—and BAWWWWW ZOMG SO CUTE!—video of the day. Inside, watch a baby monkey get a literal piggyback ride on some sort of furry Sasquatch reindeer-like pig creature thingy. Yay, animal videos!

This very funny parody by voice actor DC Douglas mocks Terry Jones and his "International Burn the Koran Day" or what Douglas calls "God Hates the Quran For Being A F*g Day." Video inside.