As CNN's John Roberts was preparing to interview David Axelrod last week, he turned to co-anchor Kiran Chetry and said, bitchily, "'Scuse me. Would you mind not doing that while I'm talking? Thank you. Appreciate that. If you don't mind."

A prestige actress just had a movie dropped into the fall slate. Watch out, ladies! Also today: a literary classic gets an Awzom! movie makeover, lots of TV shows hire actors, and some Christine O'Donnell jokes.

On Access Hollywood Live, Tim Gunn took the bait when asked for his opinion on Michaele and Tareq Salahi calling them "sociopaths." Lucky for us, they were listening to every word on standby! Cringe-worthy video and the Salahi's response, inside!

Readers ask: Has never-married abstinence advocate and Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell ever had sex? Yes, that's the whole point! In a 2004 interview, she admitted screwing dudes all the time, in college, before devoting her life to Chastity.

Thank you, New York Republicans, for nominating racist porn e-mailer Carl Paladino as your gubernatorial candidate! Because he's funny. Now, for example, he's sending out "garbage-scented" mailers to 200,000 households — as a metaphor for Albany, see?

Andrei Konchalovsky is lending his treatment to The Nutcracker, turning the play into a 3D effects-heavy film. Features Nathan Lane, John Turturro, and a host of rat-men who fly around on jetpacks. Half holiday movie, half insanity. The trailer, inside.

Meet Stephen Rout, the child who spawned an entire Japanese subculture after his baby picture was uploaded to the internet in 2000 — a subculture unknown to his family until nine years later.

Ever wonder what the trees would say if they could talk? This Brussels tech team is creating a way to tweet what this tree feels, to create a science for what the tree would say if it could talk.

In your hope-infested Thursday media column: the Right Nation is not media-friendly, layoffs at the Miami Herald, the NYT PR department is getting poach-y, and an offer of help for stiffed Paste freelancers.

Statistics being what they are, every homophobic politician must have a gay loved one hiding somewhere. Dick Cheney has Mary. Alan Keyes has Maya. And Christine O'Donnell, Tea Party Queen of Delaware, has a lesbian sister in L.A.

"I knew several Don Drapers," began the domestic goddess during yesterday's show. Inside, listen to her slurred stories of modeling days past when she'd parade around in her bikini "in front of this table of men probably drinking martinis." Fancy!

Thank you, Tim Gunn, for saying it—the man can't stand crocs. Men, women, children... he doesn't accept the look on anyone. When he first modeled a pair, he said apparently exclaimed "it looks like I have a hoof!"

Meet Tommy. Tommy knows how to pack a bag! And in case you didn't believe me (or him), watch this video of him packing a crapload of clothes into a 22" REI Stratocruiser carry-on backpack/suitcase, using his mom's foolproof method.

You know how people say "those pants are so tight, they look like they're painted on?" Well, it's not so far from the truth now that there is Fabrican. Yes, it's fabric in a can that you can spray on!

On Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night, Regis Philbin recounts a particularly special trip to Los Angeles where he saw Jimmy Fallon in a speedo by the pool. An awed Philbin goes on to call Fallon's nether-regions "really impressive."

Have you always wanted to know what happened at nerd conventions but not enough to actually go to one? Well, you don't have to wonder any longer. Here's everything you'll see at Atlanta, Georgia's Dragon Con. Including Obama One Kenobi.

Is it time to give up on the fantasy of educating children in schools? We must regretfully report: yes, it is time. The teachers are getting violent, moonlighting as criminals, and leaving the kids to play video games in class.

Heavily leveraged (read: bankrupt) Real Housewife of New Jersey Teresa Guidice did an interview with In Touch Weekly and they have "unearthed" pictures of her and husband Joe from 1984. How much do you think the tabloid had to pay?

Bank robbers with a flair for the dramatic attempt a heist on motorcycles. The half-baked plan almost worked until seconds after the robbery, when they blew the exit and crashed into a truck.

All Americans are fat. Now TV is cashing in with shows like The Biggest Loser, Thintervention, and Celebrity Fit Club, because fat Americans only want to watch shows about people losing weight. It's like exercising without leaving the couch!