Yesterday's Twitter worm is a disturbingly fascinating life form, writes the Guardian's Martin Robbins, one that spread far more quickly than human viruses, or even other computer worms, possibly could. Think of it as a sort of super herpes.

Seems we've got a comedian running for Wisconsin governor. Wanna know how funny Republican nominee Scott Walker is? His opponent, Tom Barrett, released a 67-page jobs plan, so Walker goes and releases a 68-page plan, in size 10-million font! Burn?

[Drag comedian Murray Hill gropes burlesque performer Angie Pontani at the second season premiere of "Bored to Death", a show some of us like and think you should watch, in New York last night. Image via Getty]

Did you ever think that best day of your life would the day that you almost got run over by a speeding train—but didn't? Check out these clips of amazing/ridiculous people surviving the odds—all limbs in tact, hopefully!

To remove a tumor "the size of a calzone," doctors split a woman in half and attached her leg to her spine. They're calling it a "pogo stick" surgery, the first of its kind. The patient is in good spirits.

Just so very many people in the Navy seem to be murdered, every week. And you all can't stop watching it. Also today: three rich girls do rich things and want to be congratulated for it, plus casting.

The Way We Live Now: on a budget. Which is an improvement! During the recession we lived without any budget, spending only the pebbles we gathered in our imaginary, empty "store." No mas! Show me to the corporate bond aisle!

Most of you will recognize this show as you changed the channel on after Glee ended. Others will have watched because of Cloris Leachman and that chick from all those 80's movies. The rest of you— what's your excuse?

Last season's finale ended with a long-awaited kiss between Drs. House and Cuddy, and this season's premiere extended that 'shipper fan-service into an entire episode of Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein in flagrante delicto.

Mad Men's Jon Hamm worked in porn. He wasn't an actor or a director but a set dresser on a soft-core movie. Not as racy as we'd hoped, but still "Hamm" and "porn" in the same sentence sure is something.

Do you have rhythm? Can you bust some moves on the dance floor? Well, so can this kid—and he's only three years old! Watch as this little tike moves brilliantly to Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" for a crowd.

Before Brett MIchaels was courting strippers on reality TV, some recently unearthed photos reveal he was hookin' up with ladies who were just a bit more...zaftig. Yikes!

Many people haven't been able to connect to Facebook for over half an hour. Other people report connecting just fine. There's no official word yet, but lots of Twitter moaning. At least show us a pretty whale, Facebook.

A South Carolina police officer feared his cop car was looking dirty, so he took it to a stripper-sponsored "Tits n Tats" car wash to get his cruiser shined. There are pictures. They ended up on Facebook. He got fired.

Muslim cabbie-stabber Michael Enright told cops he was a "patriot." And: "I need my mother."

Many viewers find product placement despicable, but us post-ironists enjoy watching networks experiment with new ways of making television profitable. When Melissa first displaced her niece's Wii-ing to watch herself on TV last night, I barely noticed the conspicuous plug.

Ohio's Democratic party chairman, Chris Redfern, recently said at a campaign event what most Democratic chairmen dream of saying: He is sick of these Tea Party "fuckers." Watch the clip! He really puts his back into it. Like, "these fuckers."

Oh Alec Baldwin, what won't you do? Last night's star-studded edition of the Late Show featured a surprise appearance from Mr. Jack Donaghy himself. The gag? Something about being on the phone with CBS executives, we think. Watch inside.

Apparently, Massachusetts eases the blow of a parking ticket by providing instructions for yoga positions that will help the ticketed individual relax. Watch awkwardness ensue after Brian Kilmeade asks Gretchen Carlson if she can put her leg over her head!

In your celebratory Wednesday media column: newspapers still find admirers, Michael Lewis' J-school turnaround, the NYT's a popular target of politicos, Christine O'Donnell gives up on national media, and John Cook's back.