And another drug lord goes down: Mexican authorities have arrested Margarito Soto Reyes, also known as "The Tiger," in Guadalajara with eight other alleged members of the Sinaloa cartel. [BBC; pic: AP]

SNL returned tonight for its 36th season, and Amy Poehler hosted the premiere. One of the episode's highlights was Poehler's monologue, during which a plethora of guest stars—including Justin Timberlake and TIna Fey—showed up for a dream sequence.

Reggie Watts fakes out an unsuspecting audience at 2010's Bonnaroo, who surely aren't familiar with his act. He runs through a half dozen false starts like a broken TV before delivering a mind-bending performance.

Right this minute, there are revelers on the Gawker HQ roof gyrating to the sounds of Eclectic Method. But not a sound floats into the night.

Soccer star David "I Did Not Hire a $10,000-a-Night-Hooker" Beckham is suing In Touch over a story they ran about him hiring a $10,000-a-night-hooker. Also named in the suit: 26-year-old Irma Nici, the $10,000-a-night-hooker in question.

Watch as these two robust individuals with faces painted on their stomachs ride a roller coaster and lounge by the pool, amongst other things. Sounds weird? Video inside.

Cesar Mercado, the Nicaraguan diplomat found with his throat slashed in his Bronx apartment, may have killed himself because a recent HIV diagnosis. While cops were originally suspecting murder, they now think Mercado's injuries were self-inflicted.

[Two employees of the Russian Railways Moscow-Nice service train show restraint as a woman films them very up close after pulling into Nice Station, France today. Image via AP]

The producers of the anemia drugs Epogen and Procrit, Amgen Inc, has recalled several hundred lots of the medication fearing that glass flakes will develop in the bottle, leading to blood clots. Glass flakes in the bloodstream sounds pretty awful.

We once made fun of "Paleos," the "small New York subculture whose members seek good health through a selective return to the habits of their Paleolithic ancestors." But, by God, Dutch food conglomerate 'Unilever' is doing the same thing!

The Great Bed Bug Epidemic has been widely covered, but now our nation's capital is under threat from stink bugs. They smell like sweaty feet and are multiplying fast! According to a specialist, "this is going to be biblical." [WaPo]

Watch this vintage scene in which a sassy Steve Martin, dressed in short shorts, serves Kermit & Miss Piggy one of the finest wines of Idaho while the pair are on a dinner date.

A new study shows the effects of Einstein's theory of relativity means time moves slower for someone at a lower elevation. But not by much: a foot of elevation earns you 90 billionths/of a second over 79 years. [National Geographic]

A tipster emailed a photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand "bike riding and asking for directions to the Standard Hotel" yesterday afternoon. Have you spotted someone noteworthy? Email a photo to stalker@gawker.com or post it yourself to #stalker.

Americans hate vegetables. Every possible trick, tactic and marketing ploy has failed. We will forever be a nation of spongey vegetablephobes. So say the New York Times in a long investigation of why the hell won't Americans eat their vegetables?

Police in Wyoming, responding to a domestic violence call, found the man they were looking for, Brian Mattert covered in paint. He warned police that a taser shock and water-based paint together would kill him. So they tased him.

The hilarious, deeply misogynistic follow-up to Boys Will Be Girls. Posits that "having fat thumbs" is a valid excuse for something, and that this things that we call love could fall apart in five seconds. If she doesn't text back.

Ed Miliband beat older brother David in an election to lead Britain's Labour Party today.

Well, Bill Maher has kept his promise to release a slow drip of embarrassing clips about Delaware Tea Party Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell until she comes on his show. This week's installment: O'Donnell thinks evolution is a 'myth'.

Bishop Eddie Long, the homophobic Georgia preacher accused of coercing young men into sex, made students at his LongFellows Youth Academy carry "sex self-check cards" that offered alternatives to having dirty sex. Four men have now filed lawsuits against Long.