Like when Godzilla finally topples and his flame breath is extinguished, so has the creature known as Trash Bags been defeated on Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time. She will not be missed.

Well, isn't this cute! Here's a video of a little boy who gets extremely excited to see Betty White on the television. In other news: he thinks White is "beautiful," comments on her "blonde hair," and much more! Watch inside.

Last night on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the gang buys a boat. And so it's time for Dee to reveal her "P. Diddy Boat Dance," which is bad. Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man bad.

Justin Murdock—billionaire Dole Food heir and Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his dick, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."

Calling all Lambs! This morning, Mariah Carey graced the world with the first single from her upcoming Merry Christmas II You album, titled "Oh Santa." It's criminally catchy, obviously, and sure to become the next classic Christmas tune. Listen inside.

In what could be a reenactment of Joaquin Phoenix's infamous Letterman interview, Ed Norton and Craig Ferguson sit in near complete silence for more than a minute, checking their watches. Done in jest, but sadly reflective of the full interview.

Watch Paris Hilton giggling while her boyfriend accidentally hits a paparazzi cameraman with his car and takes off in a hit and run. Also Havey Levin, previous interviewer outside of the People's Court defends Paris and her boyfriend's actions!

When one door closes, another one opens - for Dick Wolf, that is. May saw the end of the original Law and Order, but there's a new spin-off that premiered the other night. Is it worthy of the L&O name?

Now that sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman is but a stale post on the Facebook wall of our sad lives, we've been waiting patiently for a sexy Russian criminal to fill the void. Enter Kristina Svechinskaya, cybercriminal

Rahm Emanuel resigned as White House chief of staff today to run for mayor of Chicago. For someone with such a hardened, Machiavellian reputation, his farewell speech — during which he choked up — was surprisingly eloquent. Where's the rage?

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is suing Fox News for retaliating against a former correspondent who'd complained about sex and age discrimination. You know whose fault this is? The biased NObama administration's, naturally.

Zach Galifianakis' Between Two Ferns web series is always hilarious. It's even funnier, though, when it's recut with footage of the trailer for The Social Network, complete with the creepy (hah) choir version of Radiohead's "Creep." Watch the mashup inside.

"It's a way of answering without answering," saying neither yes or no. This confuses the hell out of Westerners (that's us!). Luckily, Todd was educated on the subject (and so were we!) as he had to evaluate his employees.

Daily Profile: Brian Williams

In NYC, two-thirds of primary schools saw their scores decline in progress reports. In Chicago, parents are holding a sit-in protest to save their children's after-school center. Only the suburban schools are properly educating kids. By treating them like idiots.

The Breaking Bad star and this week's SNL host was brought out to the old Malcolm in the Middle theme, which the Roots seemed more than excited to play. Plus, Bryan and Jimmy Fallon break into Bill Cosby impressions spontaneously.

Don't you just love it when life imitates SNL? Jack Johnson's latest video for "At Or With Me" features the Lonely Island crew in a story of dude meets dude. The new video and Andy's impression of Jack Johnson, inside.

The kindest of mad scientists is the warm and childlike Walter Bishop. While in many ways he's become a simple man with missing brain fragments, but he's still better than you. This guy cuts the cheese and lives are saved.

Not content with doling out $100 million to help Newark schools, Mark Zuckerberg took the next logical step to counteract The Social Network's portrayal of him as a scheming nerd-villain: hiring Cirque du Soleil for a massive PR industry party.

Permanently confused CNN anchor Rick Sanchez has stuck his entire foot in his mouth with his latest gaffe, which isn't really a "gaffe" so much as "textbook anti-Semitism." Did you know that Jews control the media? Rick Sanchez explains.