Police finally caught up with Uma Thurman's stalker Jack Jordan a month after he broke a protective order by phoning her. He went berserk and is being held for observation. Someone set him off talking smack about My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

Yesterday, a very pregnant Mariah Carey graced HSN—several times!—to hawk everything from perfume (which she hates), to shoes, to a Ring Pop necklace. Carey also repeated herself ad nauseam, and—as this compilation from Rich Juzwiak shows—it was awesome.

Democratic Sen. Michael Bennet was caught bitching to a colleague today about his party's lame duck strategy on the Senate floor today, thanks to a friendly hot mic. His complaint? "It's all rigged." Perhaps you might agree!

On tonight's episode of Raising Hope, Jason Lee will work with director Greg Garcia once more. He'll play Smokey Floyd, who happens to be as-been rocker who also happens to be Burt's musical idol. Bad mullet/receding hairline combo inside!

Yup, it's true. The Independent Spirit Awards have announced their list of nominees for this year, meaning we are off to the races. Isn't it exciting? Also today: every TV show ever is about cops, plus a sexy Twilight update.

At 10:46 a.m. this morning, Long Island was hit with a magnitude 3.9 earthquake. That's crazy.

Ever wanted to social network but couldn't because you were a toddler? Now you can! This Finnish device allows toddler's to communicate with each other and parents via blocks with pictures of what they're doing. Twitter for tots!

Who would buy MySpace? When News Corp. bought the social network for $580 million five years ago, it was on top; now MySpace trails Facebook and isn't trying to catch up. And News Corp is finally talking about selling.

In your tremulous Tuesday media column: Richard Branson strikes the iPad, a college newspaper editor burns out, the Washington Post gets shut down, and in-house news.

Tonight, Bob Saget's Strange Days will premiere on A&E. The show is an account of his travels with a motorcycle club as they investigate oddities like Big Foot and backyard wrestling! Bonus: Babara grills him on his filthy stand-up.

Congressman Joe Barton, the infamous BP apologist and lightbulb warrior, is vying for the powerful Energy and Commerce committee chairmanship. And his vision, as detailed in a children's PowerPoint presentation, is to role-play as a WWII general and shoot liberals.

In a year where Tiger Woods provided endless entertainment, Michael Vick made his triumphant return and Lebron James became the most hated man in America the choices were endless. Sports Illustrated chose Drew Brees as their chosen one this year.

[Jessica Simpson is a vegan's nightmare strolling the streets of New York. See that blond hair floating by her ankle? She killed a Swedish toddler for that. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Every year the Christmas event for New York's A gays is the Toys for Tots benefit. Tickets are so in demand for the sold-out event that some people are now charging exorbitant rates for tickets online. What about the kids?

Chuck knows its way around a good cultural allusion, the show's been full of lines and references to various action movies and elements of culture. This week was no exception and Chuck delivered two great ones.

How did Vogue boss of bosses Anna Wintour spend her Thanksgiving? In Shanghai, being thankful that she's so famous that a tipster sent us video of her all the way from China.

Ben Affleck was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and explained his complicated relationship/rivalry with fellow actor (and co-Oscar winner) Matt Damon. We've all been wondering: Is Ben Affleck a top or a bottom? Click through for the answer.

Kanye West interviewed Rihanna for Interview magazine, and the result was the equivalent of a Jack Russell terrier burying its face in your crotch and humping.

Here's a trailer for a psychological mystery/drama about a woman cleaved in two. Half the time Halle's a down-on-her-luck club dancer named Frankie, the other half she's a prim, racist, Southern white lady. So, split-personality. This is Halle Berry's Sybil!

Attorney General Eric Holder says the criminal investigation into Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is more than just "saber-rattling," and Justice Department officials are claiming he violated the Espionage Act. If that's true, isn't the New York Times guilty as well?