How does single dad Rob Lathan juggle his parental responsibilities with his burgeoning comedy career? By bringing his baby to stand up gigs, of course! Awwww!

The House of Representatives passed a two-week stopgap spending measure, cutting (against Democratic objections) $4 billion in spending but—assuming passage of an identical measure in the Senate—averting a government shutdown until March 18. The White House had proposed a 30-day extension with $8 billion in cuts in the hopes of creating some breathing room for budget negotiations; Republicans, eager as always to prove their intractability, preferred the two-week extension as a way to keep pressure on the Democrats to accept their budget, which cuts $61 billion in spending. Today's measure passed 335 to 91, with a majority of both parties voting "yea"; "some Republicans," according to the Times, voted against today's spending measure because it didn't defund the Affordable Health Care Act. Your government in action, folks!

Well, gang, we've finally made it past the audition stages! Tonight—from 8:00 to 9:30 PM, live on FOX—this season's Top 12 American Idol guys will perform for the judges and our votes. Your open thread is inside! [Gawker.TV]

Well, gang, we've finally made it past the audition stages! Tonight—from 8:00 to 9:30 PM, live on FOX—this season's Top 12 American Idol guys will perform for the judges and our votes. Your open thread is inside!

Believe it or not, Paul Scheer may be cooler than us all. Sure, Aziz Ansari is besties with Kanye West but Scheer is collaborating with hip hop group Odd Future.

Today we learned that women are slowly starting to make as much as men, leaving everyone to cheer about the correcting of that 75 cents on the dollar income gap thing. Well, almost everyone. One commenter argued that that statistic is a myth.

International Herald Tribune fashion writer Suzy Menkes talked to friends of newly-disgraced fashion designer John Galliano, who say they have successfully persuaded him to enter rehab immediately following his anti-Semitic tirade last week. The shame cycle is now complete.

Though Inception didn't take best picture at the Oscars, it cleaned up in the effects categories, which reward movies built around cool ideas. Inception isn't just built around ideas, though: It's about how ideas form in the first place. [io9]

Well, this video is exactly what the headline implies—many, many instances of the pre-meth Jodie Sweetin saying her classic phrase on Full House. Did I actually just bring up her drug-addicted past? Say it with me: "How. Rude."

Meet Twitter's newest verified user: @CharlieSheen, which is gaining followers at a rate of approximately 500/second, without having fired off a single tweet. Some 34,000 people and counting(!) are now following Sheen. But what will his first tweet be? Predict in the comments. [Image of Sheen via Getty]

Child fever! Nicotine gum! Obesity docs! Baby times! Optimistic death! Lying teenagers! Running job! Women smoking! And menthol vindication! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with a minimally acceptable level of competence!

If CBS hadn't pulled the plug on Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen would have taped an episode in which he spends a night partying (and possibly hooking up) with a gay dude. Not as strange as reality!

"Internet Enthusiast" John Allen talks about the unusual civility he encounters online... in 1993. Well, of course someone had to superimpose his naive speech over nasty youtube comments. Lesson learned. Never overestimate people's ability to be nice online.

Recently retired Sen. Chris Dodd, who said last year that he wouldn't take a lobbying job after leaving Congress, has taken a massive lobbying job: Chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America. Congratulations, Chris Dodd!

The blonde spitfire is getting another crack at the bat. Also today: more TV roles have been filled, from Hung to human computers, and Quentin might make a Western while Tim might make a Hunchback.

A new cast of Dancing With the Stars has spawned, Bachelor Pad gets picked up for another season, Norm MacDonald's "Me Doing Standup," and spoilery information about the next season of Top Chef Masters involving Mad Men guest judges!

Crucial point to make about Mike Huckabee: He's nuts. A nice guy, sure. But nuts! He has no idea what he's saying at any given point. Only a matter of days ago he was telling the Birther crowd to shut up about Barack Obama's birth certificate, describing it as "nonsense." But then he goes and rambles about Barack Obama's childhood in Kenya! What is even happening with this man?

The British government is spending nearly $80 million to track 40,000 households over the next 20 years to "Understand Society," as the study is called. The first published findings give us a breakdown of how to be the perfect couple.

In this hilarious Onion News spoof, Al Qaeda has brought Americans to their knees...all because of a picture of a piglet wearing rain boots. Beware—the next kitten video you receive could be a cyber terrorist attack!

Girl Scout Cookies are a very, very personal baked good. Name one other food that is so tied into our childhood psyche; name one other food about which we obsess primarily to its exclusivity. You can't. [Jezebel]