If you thought the gloriously auto-tuned, lyrically adventurous stable of teen songs over at the Ark Music Factory were something, then please watch "My Jeans," a video from someone named Jenna Rose, a young actress who, unlike those Ark Music amateurs, has several other videos on her resume. (Most of them are about picking out outfits. Because that is what girls are all about! Remember that, my future daughter.) It's not right to mock a child, so let's not do that. Ms. Rose is a friend of the gays, so snaps to her for that! Anyway, enjoy.

Ever wonder how you could destroy a glass bottle and your microwave with just a handful of ingredients? If you try this at home just make sure you have a garage you're willing to ruin as well.

Poor baby Emerson is scared. What are those noises mommy is making through her nose and why do they sound so terrifying? Fear has never been this adorable!

Steve Kardynal picked out his finest Lady GaGa outfits and hit the streets of New York City to show everyone the way he was born.

Down Periscope actor Kelsey Grammer and his newly ex-wife, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille, bought their Avon, CO ski home in 2002 for $5.35 million, and are now selling it, in the ash-strewn aftermath of their very public divorce, for $7.9 million. "Let's make a profit off this bitch!" — Everyone involved in this marriage from the get-go.

A three-year-old is being treated for alcoholism after exhibiting withdrawal symptoms, and the authorities claim the child has been consuming booze regularly for a period of time. We're not quite sure how, but Four Loko must be to blame. [Telegraph]

The Today Show invited Ted Danson to talk about his passion project (saving the oceans) but ended up talking about his time on Cheers instead.

You know how Gawker Artists does such a lovely job of fancying up your browser window with new art? Now you can own some of those images IRL. The brand-new Gawker Artists Shop is proud to be working with the taste-makers at Society6 in order to bring you specially curated, limited-edition prints from a few stand-out artists. Each piece is one of a special 100-edition run, and comes with a signed certificate of authenticity from the artist. For just $90, your living room can go from hobo to highbrow!

Who could ever get enough of these monster-flipping penguins on this monkey-flying plane? Probably no one, because they are so darn cute... and aren't venomous.

Across America, millions upon millions of despondent mothers (3.9 million, specifically!) have started blogs to share their feelings of anomie, their existential despair at the trap that their lives have become, and cleaning tips. Many of them aspire to one day be used as a small cog in a vast corporate marketing machine. They work cheap!

Appearances can be deceiving, as we learn here. Watch as the judges get quite a jolt when this lovely soprano quickly turns into a tenor.

A pregnant ex-girlfriend materializes and turns Ryan Phillippe's life into a soap opera. A mystery starlet's cocaine video will make Miley Cyrus' bong "look like a Disney movie." A group of teen girls break into Justin Bieber's hotel room. Tuesday gossip has arrived.

Is it really any surprise that Ashley is the next Bachelorette? She was definitely a fan-favorite from the very first date of this season of The Bachelor, and seemed just a little too excited to be at last week's reunion.

This girl only has one fully formed hand and can still play piano with the best of the them.

This famous lady literally walks out of the store with a new pair of shoes on. This actress had an accident with her nipples during an audition. What's worse, being a crook or being dumb?

SNL's resident alien Bill "Greg" Hader plays an ET-hunting G-man in Paul, but in reality he's comfortingly nerdy, bonding with the film's cast over comics and re-enacting all of the other iconic movies filmed in Las Vegas, New Mexico.

After properly enraging the entire internet yesterday by thanking God for punishing Japan due to a global increase of atheism, TamTamPamela decided to come clean and admit it was all for show and promptly canceled her account on YouTube.

If you spend more than five minutes talking to an editor, you're sure to hear about how some story or other was a total piece of shit before said editor got his hands on it. Now you can judge for yourself! The Washington Post mistakenly posted this health story by Laura Ungar online with ALL OF THE EDITOR'S ALL-CAPS NOTES INCLUDED. [The final version of the story hasn't been published yet.] We've pasted it below in case it gets pulled. Editors make typos, too! Kill them!

On Late Night, Tyra Banks talks about why she decided to become a college girl (She attends Harvard business). She is even living on campus! Don't panic, it's not exactly what you think.

Leading institute of higher learning Tufts has a "cherished tradition" in which lots of students there get roaring drunk one winter night and run naked through the quad. Classic American pastime, for pervs! But not any more.