Drunk Tufts Students Can No Longer Harass Police With Their Taut Young Nude Bodies
Leading institute of higher learning Tufts has a "cherished tradition" in which lots of students there get roaring drunk one winter night and run naked through the quad. Classic American pastime, for pervs! But not any more.
Crusty old buzzkill and Tufts president "Lawrence S. Bacow" says that he's ending the event for good. Sure, he pays lip service to the idea that a kid will die, alcohol-poisoned and passed out in a snowbank, sooner or later. But the real reason for the treason is clear: embarrassed cops.
Our own police association has written to me saying that our police officers are themselves uncomfortable working the event, noting that students are not only nude but also routinely inebriated and disrespectful. (Members of the Dean of Student Affairs' staff report that drunk, naked students often taunt those who are working the event, provocatively flaunting their nudity.) Some members of TUPD have even suggested that requiring officers to continue to work the event might constitute a hostile work environment in violation of federal regulations governing sexual harassment.
Fair compromise: drunk Tufts kids can run drunk and naked through the quad while cops compete to see who can hit the most students with a Taser. Everyone wins.
