Do you know what the fastest growing group of American youths is, besides no-good little delinquents who think Justin Bieber invented the wheel, you ignorant little brats? Multiracial youths! Single-race kids are kind of nerds, now.
Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi can be forgiven for his physical appearance these days. After all, his country is being bombed, rebels are fighting an increasingly bloody war with his army, and his "voluptuous blond" Ukrainian nurse left him. But things weren't always this way. Back in the heady days of 1995 Qaddafi, now 68 years old, gave a Brazilian plastic surgeon an envelope "full of U.S. dollars and Swiss francs" to halt the appearance of aging. The AP spoke to the doctor:
Some guy from New Jersey is auctioning off a New York phone number with a "coveted" 212 area code on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $1 million. Who on earth is terrible enough to pay that? No one, hopefully. But "Carmen" is giving it a shot! He explained how people's insecurities will make him rich to the Daily News:
A deputy prosector in Johnson County, Indiana, has resigned his job after it was revealed that in February, during the large protests in Wisconsin over Gov. Scott Walker's anti-public employee union bill, he e-mailed Walker's office and recommended that they conduct a "false flag operation" — to fake an assault or assassination attempt on Walker in order to discredit the unions and protesters.
We are shocked—shocked—to hear that the University of Kentucky is under attack from a racist sign-maker, who has been leaving "juvenile" notices around campus that refer to President Obama using a racial epithet. The first was found hanging from a door in the law school building on March 15; on Thursday, a law student found a sign stuck to a bus stop reading "How Do You Spell Nigger? OBAMA," which is both hateful and factually incorrect. Ingeniously, the sign was composed of letters "cut out from a menu, glued to another piece of paper and photocopied," meaning we may never know the identity of Racist Sign Guy or Gal, and therefore never have the chance to say "what is your deal, man" to his or her face. [Lexington Herald-Leader]
This is a still from a porn film. See the brunette on the left? She's a clerical worker at a Quebec-area high school who was suspended after a student discovered her side job. And then asked for an autograph. Teenagers!
Anarchy! Within reason. All four backing members of punk rock outfit Screeching Weasel have left the band, after a disastrous show at South by Southwest in which longtime frontman Ben "Weasel" Foster taunted the crowd, then struck two women, before spending the rest of the show bitching about The SXSW Man, man. (Shaky footage of the Gig From Hell embedded above.)
All Madonna wanted was her own private school for impoverished African girls, just like Oprah has (minus the molesty stuff). What she got is a PR nightmare. Her mismanaged charitable foundation, Raising Malawi, is on the verge of collapse, and $3.8 million designated for the school have all but vanished into thin air.
Well, this episode was a doozy. Aside from the surprising, sweet, awesome proposal clip, it showed us what is so great about this show, and why we should be hanging on to The Office even after Steve Carell's exit.
NATO agreed on Thursday night to take complete command of military operations in Libya. Psych! NATO is only leading the part that involves flying jets around, while the U.S., France and the UK are stuck doing the "actual war stuff" (technical term).
Tonight, in a segment more fitting for 30 Rock than The Daily Show, Jon Stewart considered the problem that NBC News has because of the fact that it's owned by GE, whose products often appear in controversial news reports.
Bad news for Rep. Peter King's eternal fight against the second-largest religion on the planet! Turns out most Americans are actually dyed-in-the-wool radical Islamists: Sixty nine percent would be "okay" with having a mosque in their communities, and 46 percent have a favorable view of American Muslims, according to a CNN poll. As you might imagine, there is one last bastion of true American Muslin-hating—the rural south, where one half of people say they'd "disapprove" of a neighborhood mosque, unless it had a big confederate flag painted on it. [CNN; image via AP]
On tonight's 30 Rock, Liz Lemon got news that TGS was going into a forced hiatus due to Tracy Jordan's absence. So, Liz explored other opportunities—like Nick Lachey's The Sing-Off. And, whoa: Aaron Sorkin was there, too!
