The ax fell twice on American Idol last night, whittling our bruised and bloody band of sing babies down to an uneven nine. Of course, they couldn't let the two fallen contestants slip quickly and quietly away. No, first they had to chew the scenery a bit with even more side acts than usual. The time of the single group number is over and now the Idol hopefuls are being broken down into groups of twos, threes and fours to sing and, presumably, breed.

It's 1911 on YouTube! That's YouTube's April Fool's gag—push a little "1911" button on the screen, and you get an old-timey version of your video, complete with a piano-roll soundtrack. This joke is not appropriate for all videos.

Pants are too droopy, no one dresses up anymore, boys are dressed like girls, girls are dressed with boys. No, these aren't the latest posts on the Things Old People Like To Complain About Tumblr page. They're the complaints gossip dowager Cindy Adams included in a screed about Manhattan street style today:

Check out this unearthed gem from 2006 of David Lee Roth's delightfully horrible attempt at going country. Hey, at least he has enthusiasm, right?

Mille Brown is the Jackson Pollock of acid reflux. She's a performance artist who drinks colored milk, then vomits it, then sells whatever she vomits onto. Brown started vomiting rainbows in 2007, allowing herself to dribble colorful upchuck down the front of her shirts, then selling the shirts; she has since progressed to vomiting onto white canvases, which provide "more longevity" and "room to experiment with pattern and color." The above video depicts a 2010 performance for Nick Knight's ShowSTUDIO.com. The website lists the resulting canvas, "Nexus Vomitus," for sale at £1500, or $2400. [ShowSTUDIO via Buzzfeed]

We've been fans of Rainn's realism-slash-absurdity since his days sexing up the mortuary on Six Feet Under. Is there a better metaphor for his style than this story about being the only Prius parked at a rifle range?

When this Improv Everywhere actor entered a subway car as JarJar Binks, three human pitbulls barely let him get through one "meesa" before jumping him. What do you think Internet, April Fools Prank or reality?

After a slew of bad press following lawsuits, a rumored IRS investigation, and the disaster that is/was Madonna's Raising Malawi charity, Kabbalah leaders are trying to shake off negative stories by saying they were planted by former disgruntled members. [Jezebel]

On Wendy Williams, Bethenny Frankel shares her experience when out socializing with the Atlanta Housewives. Also, she squashes rumors about the other ladies being jealous of her success after leaving the New York Housewives cast.

Several U.N. workers were killed Friday in the northern Afghan city of Mazar-i-Sharif. Reports indicate that a demonstration against the burning of a Quran by American pastors turned violent. There are conflicting reports about the number of people killed, and a U.N. spokesperson has issued a statement confirming the attack, while calling the incident "still confusing."

Not only is Julian Assange great at getting government secrets, he's an awesome dancer! Watch his blonde hair bounce with the music as he debuts some sweet dance moves in Reykjavik, Iceland.

Break out the hobo cake, Americans: the official unemployment rate has fallen to a mere 8.8%. Two hundred and sixteen thousand more of you have jobs now! The down side: you're still paupers.

Not every show on television can be Glee, and Grey's Anatomy proved this theory last night with their "interesting" take on the dramatic musical. Sure, many of the cast members have appeared on Broadway before, but that does not mean the trainwreck was worth the extra three minutes that screwed up your DVR last night.

It's Freestyle Friday on 106 & Park and it's Artisan vs. Blind Fury! With an abundance of quiet confidence, watch Blind Fury school his opponent.

What will the Today Show's 4th hour do without Kathie Lee's incessant absorption of vino?

Hey now wait a minute. Why would the National Republican Senatorial Committee produce a campaign ad supporting Barack Obama... unless... Oh, right, it's April 1 and everyone tells lies all day. Then again, this video appears to have been uploaded on March 31, so maybe the NRSC really does want Obama to win in 2012. That would be nuts. You can watch the ad and decide. Obama rides a unicorn over a rainbow and suggests boosting oil imports from Brazil, though not in the same shot.

American idiot Meghan McCain has writed another column for the Daily Beast, which routinely passes along her Blackberried thoughts unedited, this time featuring a nontraditional spelling for the name of her father's campaign manager. Would you edit John Ashbery?

Sure, Parks and Recreation was off last night, but here's something to cheer you up: 15 whole minutes of bloopers from the show's second season. Beyond the cast's hilarious slip-ups, the reel boasts laughs with the show's guest stars like Louis C.K., Andy Samberg, Justin Theroux, and some cute scenes with Amy Poheler and hubby Will Arnett.

Perfect daughter Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld—offspring of mean Chinese "tiger mother" Amy Chua—got into Harvard, and reportedly plans to matriculate this fall. Let the Chua family gloating commence. [ATL, image via Facebook]

Don Hill (ne Donald Mulvihill), the legendary New York club owner and manager,died yesterday at the age of 66.