When Sheldon's World of Warcraft character gets robbed, the mighty Sheldor, hero of the eastern Kingdoms, has a full on panic attack. To be fair, I think we'd all be pretty upset if our battle ostrich was stolen, too.
Scientists who are probably just trying to make themselves feel better are always doing some study on fat kids, with grim results. The latest: being ostracized just makes fat kids more fat. Yea, well, so?
Oh! The irony! En route to help one injured citizen, this senseless ambulance driver ends up adding more names to the roster of people needing medical help.
Like a certain mid-'90s catchphrase, the above will soon be the question on everyone's lips. Why? Because the new AMC original series The Killing is premiering this Sunday. The crime thriller revolves around the mysterious murder of a Seattle teenager, Rosie Larsen. Over the course of the show, the sketchy details of the case unfold in the rain-soaked woods, behind the closed doors of local politics, and smack in the middle of high-school drama-turned-outright-scandal. And at the center of it all stands a family flattened by tragedy—and determined to find out who killed their girl.
Apparently three Oscar-nominated actors will be coming out on Monday and talking about their gay-related movie project. This starlet thinks she's the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe and this fashion designer has a hemorrhoid problem. Or maybe these are all April Fools jokes.
It seems like your average, run-of-the-mill FX crime drama, until the portraits start moving. The Aurors would be an incredible show... if it weren't an April Fools prank. Go ahead, admit you were disappointed upon realizing this was probably fake.
This Vietnamese version of Pokemon is so poorly translated, if you weren't familiar with the classic gameplay, you'd never make it out of Professor Oak's, I mean Dr. Wu's, house. "There are many secrets inside to know these riddles". Indeed.
The dude who decided not to get in on his usual office lottery pool on the very day that it hit a $319 million jackpot is SPEAKING OUT and TELLING HIS STORY, so that even the most miserable of us shall be able to put a face to our "at least I'm not that guy" self-reassurances. His name is Michael Kosko, he's an I.T. worker in Albany, and he "didn't have two singles" to chuck in the pool that day. And he declined to take a $2 loan from a coworker. Bummer.
Yesterday was baseball's opening day, and Chris Rock admitted to being a tried and true Mets fan. However, he couldn't help but make fun of the fact that his team is broke.
In 1975, while New York City was in the midst of an economic meltdown, the following advertisement appeared in the Village Voice:
Nekiva Hardy, the infamous Burger King Bikini Brawler from Alabama, was arrested again yesterday after fleeing Florida. Hardy, who was originally arrested under the false name Kimesa Smith, just days ago told the Smoking Gun, "Fuck them, they'll have to come and get me," and added, "It's gonna be hard to find me." She was arrested at her home in Montgomery, Alabama and is awaiting extradition to Florida on felony charges.
Swelling in Knut's brain caused the world's favorite captive polar bear to fall into a pool and drown two weeks ago, a German pathologist told reporters today. Knut's encephalitis explains why he was stumbling around and suffering from panic attacks before his death. So yes, he was still basically crazy.
It is with great sadness that we learned today that Sbarro Inc., purveyors of the very finest room-temperature pizza and congealed ziti known to mankind, are preparing to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. The chain is $365 million in debt, and lawyers are working feverishly to hammer out a restructuring deal that would spare the legendary dough emporiums from extinction.
Bruce Springsteen looks pretty good for 61, doesn't he? Not that it stops him from doing classic old-dude stuff, like writing letters to the editor of his local paper—which he did this week. The Boss' letter was not, however, about how the lady at Wal-Mart said "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (though give him 15 years)—it was a letter of commendation for the Asbury Park Press' front-page story on poverty and budget cuts:
Here's the trailer to The Hangover 2, the sequel to, you guessed it, The Hangover. And, we hate to say it, but those of you hoping for a radical change in the direction of the series are gonna be disappointed.
On tonight's Late Night, Elton John stopped by for a chat with Jimmy Fallon. When the topic of John's songs being covered—on American Idol, for example—came up, he celebrated it, while simultaneously bashing "assholes" Kings of Leon.
