Sweet Mary Mother of God this is huge: Israeli-Canadian filmmaker Simcha Jacobovici says he's found two of the nails that were used to crucify Jesus! He's also promoting a documentary he made about finding the nails, called The Nails of the Cross. Jacobovici told Reuters, "What we are bringing to the world is the best archaeological argument ever made that two of the nails from the crucifixion of Jesus have been found." HOLY SHIT! Oh, but he added, "Do I know 100% yes, these are them? I don't." But please check his movie out anyway.

You know what's a really bad idea? Allowing college kids to carry concealed handguns on public university campuses. For the second time, a Texas Republican state senator, Jeff Wentworth is trying to get a bill passed that would allow this to happen. But as of last night, according to The Austin American-Statesman, the bill appeared to be almost dead. Wentworth told the paper, "I didn't have the votes" to get the bill on trigger happy Governor Rick Perry's desk. Good.

Looking for a fixer-upper vacation home in a tropical paradise? Then why not bid on former Panamanian dictator — and convicted drug-trafficker — Manuel Noriega's "dilapidated" 35,000-square-foot mansion? It just failed to sell at auction for a second time, with an asking price of $2.5 million according to the AP. Get a whiff of the desperation! It's time to lowball the Panamanian Economy Department, who said in a statement that the property will go back on the block for a third time. That would make a great episode of Million Dollar Listing, no?

Former Senator Alan Simpson (R-WY) appeared on Hardball tonight, and used the opportunity to rail against social conservatives giving the Republican party a bad name. He first took them to task for pro-life legislation ("Who the hell is for abortion?...They're hideous, but they're a deeply intimate and personal decision, and I don't think men legislators should even vote on the issue"), then aimed his sights on anti-gay forces, singling out another former Senator, Rick Santorum (R-PA), by name.

Some upbeat news for the Japanese tourism industry: The country may have just upgraded their ongoing nuclear disaster to Chernobyl-levels, but as of this coming Friday, Tokyo Disneyland will reopen its gates to visitors.

Justin Bieber touched down in Israel today, and is scheduled to perform in Tel Aviv on Thursday night. But some time in the days in-between, he and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will meet. The historic Bieber-Bibi Summit will cover matters such as the recent violence in Gaza, the reform spreading through the Middle East, and whether Justin prefers boxers of briefs.

A bomb detonated today in a crowded subway station in the center of Minsk, killing at least 12 people and wounding over 120. The station was located next to the offices of Belarus's authoritarian president, Aleksandr G. Lukashenko. [CNN]

Two planes collided at JFK tonight when an Air France Airbus A380—the world's largest commercial passenger jet—clipped a much smaller plane while taxiing on the runway.

Death to porcupines! Those cactus-rodent hybrids have tyrannized man since the dawn of time. But one state has finally mustered the courage to stand up to them: Pennsylvania, we salute thee.

Not twelve hours after its announcement and serious, damaging questions are already being raised about the campaign of former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. Specifically: Did Romney steal Aquafresh's nurdle?

During the fight over the federal budget, Republican Senator Jon Kyl stated that over 90% of the services performed by Planned Parenthood were abortions. Over the weekend, the folks at Fox & Friends said that Walgreens offered many of the same services as Planned Parenthood. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert hilariously debunked them both.

With less than an hour to go before a total government shutdown, Congress reached a temporary budget compromise on Friday night. So how'd the media treat the showdown, both before and after the deal was hashed out? Here's Jon Stewart's take on the coverage.

D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray and 40 other protesters—including members of the city council—were arrested by Capitol Police on Monday after they blocked Constitution Avenue near the Capitol in protest of aspects of the budget deal reached by Congress which limit the city's autonomy, specifically prohibiting the use of DC public funds for abortions.

On last week's Dancing with the Stars, Kirstie Alley fell down after partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy's leg gave out from under her. On tonight's live performance episode, the former TV star suffered yet another embarrassment when her shoe came off mid-dance. Where's Xenu when you need him?

If you're wondering—as we so often are—how future governments will enforce keep the worker/organ-farm classes in line, look no further than this video, in which a New Scientist editor is prevented from speaking by a magnetic field.

Next time you're at your local Costco, you know, buying that 5 lb. box of Swedish Fish, stocking up on frozen shrimp, maybe trying on wedding dresses, and ogling the cut-price flatscreens, maybe you want to pick up a diamond ring while you're at it—a $1 million diamond ring. Yup.

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss refuse to drop their grudge against Facebook. The Harvard alumni twins said they will appeal today's smackdown by a panel of federal appeals judges, seeking review by all judges in the Ninth Circuit. Ugh.

Bodies just keep turning up on Long Island, where police are searching for a serial killer (who is "maybe" a cop himself) believed to be responsible for the deaths of at least four prostitutes. Today, a police dog uncovered a bag stuffed with "upper and lower extremities" about three miles from where the police had found the first four bodies (not to be confused with the second set of four bodies, none of which has been identified and may not even be the work of the same killer, although, come on); a few hours later, cops uncovered a human skull, which would—if the skull and the "upper and lower extremities" didn't belong to the same person—bring the total number of bodies uncovered to ten. [NYT; image via AP]

Heavy snow melt, moist soil, and North Dakota's peculiar geography combined over the weekend to turn the roads and fields around Fargo into a seemingly giant shallow ocean. Called overland flooding, it creates bizarrely apocalyptic scenes like this. [Jalopnik]

An Indonesian politician whose party sponsors anti-porn legislation has resigned after being photographed watching porn in parliament on his tablet computer. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he used the old "I just opened a link in an email" excuse.