In February, Rhode Island State Rep. Robert Watson said that his state had its priorities right "if you are a Guatemalan gay man who likes to gamble and smokes marijuana." Big surprise: He just got busted for marijuana possession.
Pediatric socialists! E-cigarette regulation! Prostate testosterone! Antidepressant painkillers! Obese teens! Prescription take-backs! Young strokes! Natural allergies! And amazing acupuncture in Afghanistan! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with no regulation whatsoever!
Season four of Jersey Shore hasn't even filmed yet and already the show's tortuously unstable couple Sammi and Ronnie have gotten together and broken up 17 quadrillion times. Apparently now it's officially back off again.
Last July, New York Daily News editor Martin Dunn abruptly left the paper due to his wife's illness. Kevin Convey, who'd been working as editor of the Boston Herald, was named his replacement. But now, we hear, unsatisfied NYDN owner Mort Zuckerman may already be poking around for Convey's successor.
As part of her punishment for violating probation, Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 120 hours of community service at the L.A. County Department of the Coroner. Apparently she will do "basic janitorial work. She won't be handling any dead bodies but she'll certainly see them." She will also serve 360 hours of service at a homeless shelter for women on Skid Row.
Arch corporate lobbyist, Republican fundraiser, and Governor of Mississippi Haley Barbour has decided not to run for president. He doesn't have that "absolute fire in the belly," he says in a statement. We're glad to hear that he doesn't have the farts, but saddened that he won't run for president. Oh well. Let's blame the wife!
In a new promo for her May 7th concert movie on HBO, Lady Gaga is seen talking backstage before her gig at Madison Square Garden. She's crying and talking about how she still feels like a loser thanks to the high school bullies who tormented her. Aww.
Major fireworks and apocalyptic drama at today's White House stenographers' huddle, you guys.
In your magic Monday media column: HuffPo hires some more, Elvis Mitchell loses another job, DC ladies discuss The New Yorker, MSNBC sloganizes, Brian Williams jokes, Katie Couric states the obvious, Adweek rhapsodizes, and Reader's Digest's CEO is out.
We're living in a scammer's paradise: Here's a site selling 50 million AOL addresses for just $500. And $300 for 1.5 million farmers' email addresses. A perfect way to start your own phishing business!
Last year, the best-selling magazine in America was Sandra Bullock's "Meet My Baby" issue of People. Second-best? Woman's World's "Dr. Oz's Metabolism Makeover!" issue, which features an image of Dr. Oz on its cover—right next to a picture of a pie (top left).
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange's reputation as a fighter for transparency and destroyer of secrets ought to be thoroughly demolished by today's spectacle of the New York Times literally forcing him to give up the Guantanamo Bay files he'd been hoarding for months.
War monster John McCain, fresh off of his triumphant jaunt to Libya, made a shocking confession on this morning's Today show: He is not ready to drop more American freedom bombs, forever and without any actual plan, in another Middle Eastern country where some citizens have been protesting. Is the old nutter on his meds or something? What ever happened to the angry warrior we'd all come to know and not love? This is a classic gaffe.
