The whole nation of America was founded on the premise of being "one big happy family," with equality for all—women and minorities now included by law! Sadly, economists tell us that income inequality may be eroding the trust between the rich and the poor members of the American "family." What's the reason for the treason, distrustful poors?
After the Obama administration announced it wouldn't defend the Defense of Marriage Act in court, House Republicans decided to take charge instead. John Boehner hired lawyer and ex-Solicitor General Paul Clement of the firm King and Spaulding to defend it on behalf of the House Republicans at the taxpayer funded rate of $520 per hour. But this morning King and Spaulding dropped the terribly unpopular case, and Paul Clement quit the firm to defend DOMA on his own.
Teonna Monae Brown—the Baltimore woman charged last week for a beating up a transgender McDonald's patron while a passive crowd made videos—may have been a repeat offender. The Smoking Gun reports that the 18-year-old had previously been arrested for punching a mother of two in the face, then beating her with an umbrella, then trying to rip out her hair, while friends attacked the lady's daughters. Just as ogres like to hide under bridges and terrorize passing billygoats, violent jerks apparently like to hang out at McDonald's and beat the snot out of strangers.
After coming out while in office in 2004, former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey joined the seminary and tried to be an Episcopal priest. Now it turns out the denomination doesn't want him and, shockingly enough, the decision has nothing to do with his shacking up with another man.
USA Today—an adorable daily picture book distributed free to customers of mid-rate hotel chains—is making a strategic move to wrest control of the "believes in angels" demographic from said demographic's current newspaper of choice (the Washington Times).
Among the cache of documents allegedly leaked to Wikileaks by PFC Bradley Manning was over 700 dossiers on detainees at Guantanamo Bay Prison. A slew of international papers published stories based on them today, and Wikileaks is dribbling out the full cache. They paint a picture of Gitmo as a poop-strewn debacle stuffed with crazy people, a journalist, random Afghan civilians—even some dangerous terrorists.
Britney Spears is deprived of that which she loves. Ryan Phillippe contemplates quitting acting. Lindsay Lohan fears she is the victim of a "witch hunt." Monday gossip is trapped in a prison of carrots and health.
Everyone recently found out that this famous actor was sleeping with his less-famous brother's wife. This director got a girl knocked up and this High School Musical star sure got around. At least there wasn't any family involved.
We already know that nearly everyone with a desk job is going to get bowel cancer, thanks to new research. And sugar will give you cancer, as long as you manage to survive the heart attack that precedes it. But now, thanks to even newer research, we learn that even if you think you're getting enough exercise, you probably aren't and are going to die because you spend way too much time sitting on the couch, eating shitty food and watching shittier television.
A small plane crashed yesterday in New Mexico's Lake Heron, and there are no reports of survivors. However, shortly after the crash, police told the Santa Fe New Mexican that "several packages began surfacing," referring to packages of cocaine. Police have cordoned off the area and will dutifully report every last gram of cocaine that is retrieved from the lake.
Apparently taking a cue from his daddy, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has dispatched troops, along with tanks and other armor, to the southern city of Deraa, which has been the focal point for anti-government protests and, in turn, deadly regime crackdowns. The above video was uploaded to YouTube this morning. Online activists also report hearing "artillery" fire over the phone from Deraa. From Reuters:
If you're going to do jail time in Afghanistan the prison in Kandahar is probably your best bet. Because as long as you can withstand some (alleged!) torture, you might get a reduced sentence before you even know it. Al Jazeera reports that around 500 men escaped from the prison last night and this morning through a 350-meters-long tunnel. A Taliban spokesman told the Times that 541 escapees were a mix of commanders and fighters, and that "they are all in safe havens."
A man was successfully overtaken by the passengers and crew of an Alitalia flight after he tried to hijack the Rome-bound plane and get it to land in Tripoli.
Last week, VH1 gave us quite a gift when it premiered Mob Wives, which is sort of like The Real Housewives of New Jersey, except it's even trashier and features mob women who aren't shy about mentioning the association. Needless to say, things were intense.
