As you've likely heard, Al Qaeda chief Osama Bin Laden was killed during a firefight with American forces in Pakistan on Sunday. Above, President Obama and his national security team wait for updates from the operation. Here's the latest news:
33-year-old IT consultant Sohaib Athar was just hanging out on Sunday at home in Abbottabad, Pakistan, when he heard an explosion and a helicopter hovering above. He started tweeting what was going on, and ended up unwittingly live-blogging the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden. Athar has become become such an internet celebrity that his website's been hacked.
Obama's week has been all about screwing up his critics' new releases. First, he unveils his birth certificate just days before publication of the birther tome Where's the Birth Certificate? Then he went and killed Osama bin Laden right as he was preparing to release a hot new jihad tape.
The next, and final, Harry Potter film just might profit off the death of a terrible old terrorist. Weird world we live in. Also today: some TV pilot news, more Hunger Games casting, and a Chris Hemsworth makeout fantasy.
At times it seems that for those afflicted with obesity, each passing day is like a terrible pounding tidal wave, dumping bad news and sucking out all joy into the blackness of the retreating tides. The affliction itself traps its victims in a cruel duality; the comforting consumption that would momentarily sate their persistent woes is the very thing that keeps them from fully enjoying the other thing that would sate their persistent woes: hot sexxx.
Have you, too, heard the sound of Rush Limbaugh patting himself on his gross back all afternoon? Because he sure pulled a quick one on the liberal media today! He opened his radio show by heaping praise on the president, even saying "Thank God for President Obama." Hey now... really?
Oh, come on, you don't actually believe this nonsense that Osama Bin Laden was really killed in a firefight on Sunday… do you? The internet has found the truth behind the Osama Bin Laden death conspiracy. It's a ruse to distract from Obama's Kenyan origins!
File this under "the medium is the message": At a teeny-bop concert in Ecuador, Miley Cyrus performed the world's most incongruous rendition of Nirvana anthem "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I say this as someone who once witnessed a violin-flute duo called Nerdvana at an Illinois summer camp talent show in the '90s.
Senator Scott Brown has requested to do his training as a Massachusetts National Guard Lieutenant Colonel in Afghanistan this year, to help him "better understand our ongoing mission in that country." This guy is such a showoff.
In the wake of any gigantic news story, like the death of Osama bin Laden, there are a million other little news stories that don't get nearly enough attention, starve to death, and then wash up on shore with all the other forgotten driftwood. Here are some that got screwed today.
The saga surrounding the mysterious suicide of embattled Princeton lecturer Antonio Calvo continues. On Friday, 23 faculty and students signed a petition for the university to release "a full report on how and why it suspended Dr. Calvo," the New York Times reports. On Sunday, Times published portions of Calvo's personal "notebook" and a reprimand from his employers.
In your ardent Monday media column: accountability comes to punditry, PR replaces journalism, the NYT's front page quick change artistry, longer newscasts tonight, and everybody loves People.com.
Amid all the ululation and praise for great men in the wake of Osama bin Laden's assassination, a few killjoys have emerged to shame us for celebrating a man's death. We are not barbarians!
We're back! After a technical glitch last week, we have returned to recap Bravo's unsettling study of what happens when you take your brain out of your skull and leave it soaking in a vat of wine in the sun for too long. Good things do not happen.
