On Mother's Day, the Annapolis Capital ran a story about a local lesbian couple with two kids. Something out of the ordinary, progressive, and perhaps even controversial? We'd call that "news." The paper's editor calls it a mistake.

JP Morgan chief and noted dick Jamie Dimon, speaking at the 2011 Celebration of Success in Denver, warned that it would be a "moral disaster" for the US to default on its debts. Considering the source, that's rich.

Italian artist Oliviero Rainaldi recently unveiled a new bronze sculpture of Pope John Paul II outside the main train station in Rome. Quite an honor for an artist, we'd imagine. But the Vatican has decided to piss on Rainaldi's parade, saying the sculpture looks nothing like John Paul II (we're guessing Rainaldi wasn't going for the detailed wax figure look, but who knows, right?).

A day after an ad campaign demanding the resignation of Ronald McDonald appeared in newspapers around the country, McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner rushed to the clown's defense, and defended his company's right to peddle toxic food to children, telling a shareholder meeting that "this is about choice."

Three journalists who were captured and detained by Qaddafi loyalists in early April — James Foley, Clare Morgana Gillis, and Manu Brabo — were released yesterday. The fate of a fourth journalist who was with them, 41-year-old South African photojournalist Anton Hammerl, had been unclear for
the past six weeks. Hammerl was shot on April 5 outside of the Libyan town of Brega after the group came under fire from Qaddafi troops in armored vehicles. GlobalPost spoke with Foley and Gillis after their release in Tunisia:

Drug laws are stupid. You can't stop people from using drugs, or smuggling them into the country. And now, in addition to overground, underground, and aquatic crossings, smugglers are flying ultralights to ferry pot over the U.S.-Mexico border. [Gizmodo]

Here in the US of A, our summer is packed with boring competition shows like America's Got Talent, in which teenage girls sing Mariah Carey ballads. That's why this clip from the show's much more awesome Greek incarnation—of two guys playing a piano with nothing but their penises—should be required viewing for future American contestants. [via Guyism]

Moss-covered property troll Donald Trump may have sacrificed a presidential bid in order to better serve the Celebrity Apprentice-watching people, but that doesn't mean he'll stop giving of himself. The man just gives and gives! Wait, did I say gives? I meant "takes"—as in $35,000 per course at his institute of higher earning, Trump U.

Sarah Palin is on top of the world! Her eldest spawn, Track, has married everything Levi Johnston is not. (Female, blonde, never posed nude, wrote an unflattering tell-all, secured the services of a bodyguard/manager, etc. ). Britta Hanson is 21, a nursing student at University of Alaska, and has been Track's girlfriend since high school. People has the official statement:

Today on Lavish Gifts That Make Me Uneasy, China has agreed to provide Pakistan with 50 JF-17 fighter jets — or roughly the equivalent of a new pony for a 7-year-old girl. It's a direct outcome of Prime Minister Gilani's visit to Beijing this week, a four-day jaunt intended to send a clear signal to the U.S. that killing Osama bin Laden without so much as texting them first was totally not cool. ("Humiliated" was the word Defense Secretary Robert Gates used to describe them.)

Did you catch yesterday's ridiculous press release by Newt Gingrich's waning presidential campaign? Stephen Colbert wasn't prepared to give the statement a dramatic reading—"I don't think I've got it in me to convey the epic genius of this verbal spanking"—but luckily actor John Lithgow did have it in him, and on tonight's Report, he delivered.

A new study says atheists have "far better" sex lives than their religious counterparts, of whom 80% say they feel profound guilt after the fact. (I guess the other 20% get off on knowing that Someone is watching.) [Daily Mail]

On Wednesday, monotonous economist and former actor/game show host Ben Stein came to the defense of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former IMF chief currently facing sex assault charges. So just how preposterous were Stein's arguments? Very, as Jon Stewart made clear on tonight's Daily Show.

Barrett Brown, the man who assumed the role of Anonymous' spokesman, has stepped down, citing the hack of the Sony PlayStation Network as a reason for his decision to disassociate himself from the group. [Gizmodo]

At the end of a discussion about President Obama's Middle East policy address on tonight's Factor, Bill O'Reilly explained the "Muslim problem" thusly: "For every Muslim in the world that wants democracy and wants human rights, there's one who doesn't, and the one who doesn't doesn't have any rules and will blow the hell out of the one who does." So great news, Muslims: You have a 50% chance of Bill O'Reilly's approval.

This just in: The Marriagenator has just issued a statement, soberly delivered by Wolf Blitzer. Shh! This is important. It's about his career!

You know that Volkswagen you're driving? Hitler founded the company. You know that Hugo Boss suit you're wearing? His ads once touted, "Supplier for Nazi uniforms since 1924." Nazi stuff! Right under our noses! A new piece of legislation — from Maryland, of all places — would make sweeping that information under the carpet a crime.

Hear ye, hear ye! Canada's Conservative majority government was officially sworn in yesterday. First order of business? This etching of Jesus Christ, re-imagined as a steaming, fly-ridden turd. That vivid illustration can be found inside the CD packaging for Vancouver punk rockers Living with Lions's brand new release, Holy Shit, whose cover resembles a leather-bound bible.

Katie has left the building. After a five-year run as anchor of the CBS Evening News, Katie Couric signed off for the last time this evening.

Today we heard about workplace elevators that separate poor people from the rich. Terrible! But not exactly a new practice. And sometimes that segregation is even worse. For example, behold one commenter's story.