Remember Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, the amazing airline pilot who cured 9/11 by safely landing a damaged plane in the Hudson? Yeah, he's great. Well, he was great.

Here's your daily update on the catastrophic Newt Gingrich campaign for president! The Take: He's still faring poorly. Armies of cocktail-swilling literati sheep are still emptying their "clips" on him and everything he's said or done in the past week.

The Smoking Gun got its hands on Katy Perry's 45-page concert rider. Boy, does this little lady have some really big demands, including that her driver not try to talk to her, and no carnations ever!

Blood tests! Omnipresent alligators! Abounding planets! European telescope! Disappearing Avandia! Sniffing mammals! Laser wheelchairs! Repulsive energy! And DIY levees! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—as if Schrodinger's cat would allow such a thing!

So which secret fairy-tale chamber in the skies or, alternately, below the earth's crust, is Osama bin Laden kickin' it in these days?

French politician and rumored "rutting chimpanzee" Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been granted $1 million bail and home detention while he awaits trial for the alleged sexual assault of a hotel chambermaid. Arriving in court, Strauss-Kahn gave "a quick smile to supporters in the gallery" Such a charmer! I guess he didn't do it, after all. [AP, image via AP]

You've probably never heard of Marty Martin. He spent most of his life as an anonymous CIA operative. But he very recently came out of the closet as the man Bush put in charge of finding Osama bin Laden in the aftermath of 9/11, and guess what? It turns out the man Bush put in charge of finding bin Laden is an extremely shady and allegedly corrupt war profiteer. Who would have thought?

It was always overly-simplistic to refer to Egypt's uprising as a "Facebook revolution," especially considering how difficult Facebook made it for protestors to organize. Add to that the fact that the revolution's opponents are making ample use of social networking sites as well.

People with half a human soul still extant in their corporeal shells tend to be creeped out by the concept of "private prisons," what with its overtones of prison-industrial complex run amok. But hey, private prisons save a few bucks, so bring em on! Right? No.

In your odd Thursday media column: an old reporter goes on a Facebook-shaming rampage, the Boston Globe is suddenly "not for sale," Dick Ebersol retires, Bill Keller is still talking, and Al Gore says News Corp's censoring his network.

You know those fancy elevators where you type your destination on a keypad, and then it groups riders into specific cars for maximum efficiency? They are increasingly used to segregate the unwashed masses from their corporate bosses, The Wall Street Journal reports.

Tonight marks Katie Couric's final broadcast as the anchor of CBS Evening News. It's the end of a well-intentioned but fruitless experiment. Sad. Sadder still, Katie still doesn't officially have a new job lined up. That's what friends are for!

President Obama attempted to reset relations with the Arab world Thursday in a comprehensive speech that positioned the United States and its values squarely behind the democratic uprisings sweeping the Middle East and North Africa and promised aid to help promote economic growth and stability across the region.

Breast milk is designed to nourish your baby, of course. But if you're willing to sell this precious body fluid on the black market, you could make thousands, believe it or not. [Jezebel]

Noted dick Buzz Bissinger is confused. Boxing great Sugar Ray Leonard claims in a new memoir that he was molested by a former coach. But Leonard didn't tell Bissinger, the world's greatest sports reporter, first and exclusively. So obviously Leonard is lying.

Here's a teaser trailer for This Must Be the Place, a wacky sounding movie about an aging rock star (a tiny-voiced Sean Penn) who goes hunting for a Nazi executioner. Yuppp.

This week are the television upfronts, when the networks show ever-eager advertisers the programs they're working on for the fall season. The networks want to make money off these shows. We just want to pass judgment on them.

No book has scared away more possible presidential candidates this cycle than Mark Halperin and John Heilemann's Game Change, the definitive "horse race" account of the 2008 presidential race that focuses on making every relevant politician's family life look like utter shit. Haley Barbour and John Thune have already bypassed runs this year largely on account of their spouses wanting no part of the gossip industries that would coalesce around them, and Mitch Daniels is still weighing his decision for similar reasons. But are these pulp novels giving Rep. Michele Bachmann some hesitancy, too?

Just last week, Florida police found 36 images of child porn on a Florida man's Facebook page. Last year an "international child porn ring" was busted on Facebook. In a bid to help catch future pervs, Facebook is rolling out some brand new anti-kiddie porn technology.

New York Times star tech columnist David Pogue and his wife were charged with disorderly conduct after a domestic dispute turned physical. Shortly after appearing in court, Pogue spoke at a fundraiser for victims of domestic violence. Awkward.