Get off that bus right now and "get with it," fellow New Yorkers! Nobody rides the bus any more—not even the poors.

Facebook really doesn't want you criticizing its technology. Especially via a domain name you bought for that very purpose. That's why the social network has assumed control of such incredibly specific domain names as IHateTheFacebookLikeButton.com. Paranoid much?

Today, a group of scientists announced that beneath the surface of the Moon there may be as much water as we have on Earth. This revelation could pave the way for lunar colonies in the next twenty years. [io9]

According to a lawsuit filed by a lesbian named Amanda Booker, police officers in Bartow County, Georgia, took her to the house of an evangelical "ex-gay therapist" to "attempt to convert Ms. Booker from being a lesbian," rather than taking her to court-appointed rehab.

Well-branded big box retailer Target—a staunchly anti-union company—is now the target of a union campaign. Yesterday, we asked for Target workers to send us their stories of life on the inside. The response was fairly overwhelming.

First she buys a strikingly Abbottabadish compound in Arizona near her would-be campaign headquarters, then we hear about the release of a feature length propaganda film next month, and now we learn that Sarah Palin, the pride and shame of Wasilla, Alaska, is launching a national bus tour lasting "several weeks" this very fucking weekend. Is this all just another elaborate grifter trick to sell more SarahPAC gift shop tchotchkes? Because it looks an awful lot like a presidential campaign rollout.

In your shiny Thursday media column: the Tumblr-magazine relationship debated, Erik Wemple goes soft on the WaPo, Dorothy Parvaz's fun prison stories, HuffPo keeps on HuffPo-in', and your daily Katie Couric update.

Here's a trailer for The Descendants, a new seriocomedy from Sideways, Election, and About Schmidt (listed from great to greatest) director Alexander Payne. It's a Hawaii-set tale of a man who discovers that his coma-stricken wife was having an affair.

Under house arrest and awaiting trial for the alleged sexual assault of a chambermaid, Dominique Strauss-Kahn is living in a three-story TriBeCa townhouse. Before Strauss-Kahn moved in, the townhouse was used as a venue for corporate parties. I went to one! (You didn't think I partied there with him, did you? Way too dangerous.)

Much of the scathing Senate Ethics Committee report released earlier this month accusing former senator John Ensign of violating campaign laws was based on more than 1,000 pages of potentially privileged emails that he willingly handed over for no apparent reason, according to Reuters.

Strange things happen on the L train, like this spontaneous, flashmob-esque dance party, complete with a male stripper wearing nothing but a bathing suit and a pair of heels. Good thing he has the body (and skillz) to pull it off.

What kind of figure can bring comfort and warmth to old Dick Cheney, as he lounges all day, every day, in his black ice throne, presiding glumly over his subterranean militia of damned souls? Only one such person exists: It's that nice young man from Wisconsin, the dashing and entitlement-slashing Rep. Paul Ryan. You know, America's Accountant! Well, he's Dick Cheney's new hero, too.

Another day, another alarming finding about America's complete lack of core strength. A new report points to a possible culprit for our nation's ongoing descent into blob-dom: our cushy, chair-bound jobs. Does this mean you're doomed?

This morning Dr. Oz started adjusting to life after Oprah by making an appearance on The View. While discussing the benefits of fiber with the ladies, he noted that one of its side effects is gas. Naturally, this caused Whoopi Goldberg to start farting it up.

Remember that thing the Obama administration started a couple of months ago, something about "bombing the shit out of Libya"? No? Well it was right around the start of March Madness; perhaps you were distracted. But the Libya War, and America's military involvement in it, is still quite active. The only thing that's changed is that it's probably in violation of the law now.

The Financial Times has a long interview with Lady Gaga conducted by British actor/author Stephen Fry which the paper will publish over the weekend. We were given a little sneak peek of what Gaga said to Fry during the exchange, and she makes some insane claims, including that she went bankrupt funding her Monster Ball tour.

On his evening commute, a Manhattan cyclist spied a strange beast at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge. It had the scales of a fish, body of a serpent, head of a pit bull, and was the size of a large alligator. It was lying on a blue blanket, perhaps part of some strange ritual involving the can of Bud Light next to it. Unless these are the remains of a beer-swilling chupahipstera that died trying to reach Manhattan?

Well, friends, that's it. The Idol kids have belted their last. Long ago in January we began a journey that has brought us here, to the humid frayed edges of May. Congratulations, everyone!

Natalie Portman runs into the lady she stole her fiance from, while avoiding the lady who called her a fraud. Lady Gaga says her critics are bullies. Kim Kardashian could make millions from her wedding. Thursday gossip was born this sensitive.

Kenneth Moreno and Franklin Mata, the two NYPD officers on trial for allegedly raping a drunk woman in her East Village apartment after being called to assist her, have been acquitted.