Fox News accidentally revealed its deepest, darkest secret yesterday: The public figure known as "Sarah Palin" is actually an elaborate comedy sketch by Tina Fey. This clip from America's News HQ, in which Palin employer/promoter Fox News illustrates a Palin story with an image from Fey's Saturday Night Live Palin impression, pretty much proves it. Turns out Roger Ailes secretly wants to be Lorne Michaels. [Video via Crooks & Liars]

Last week, Jill Abramson became the first female ever to hold the top editor's job at the New York Times. She'll now be responsible for leading America's most important journalistic institution through a perilous and unsure time of media industry upheaval. So we must ask: what up with her accent?

The dead horse beaters of the British Royal Family decided to put the dress Kate Middleton wore for her wedding to Prince William on display. It will be on view to the public at Buckingham Palace this summer starting July 23. You, too, can see the Alexander McQueen gown, tiara, shows, and jewelry the newly-minted Duchess of Cambridge wore for the $29 entrance fee. It's a good thing they put up this exhibit, because no one has seen the dress and there are so few pictures taken of it.

Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum — google "santorum" for more information — has had his crack team of presidential explorers run all the polls and crunch all the numbers that still show him having no chance of winning the Republican nomination and... decided to run anyway. Hooray!...??

Over 5,800 of you filled out the 2011 Gawker Media Census, and for that we raise a box of Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio in your honor. Said Census revealed that 41% of you would prefer to watch a group of unmitigated boozehounds that we invented called Real Housewives of Richard Lawson's Mind to any other unmitigated boozehounds on the planet.

Reese Witherspoon gives an ad hoc seminar on safe sexting. Jennifer Aniston launches a PDA offensive with yet another male co-star. Kim Kardashian has wedding dress drama. Pippa Middleton never sweats. Monday gossip has sex tape remorse.

Perhaps you think of yourself as a "rational investor," and you're not normally "the type" to make major investment decisions based on the shrill urgings of a pop culture internet blog. Until now. Sell your gold! It's not too late!

Though it initially looks like X-Men: First Class isn't as big of a hit as it could/needs to be, things might be OK. Meanwhile, things are definitely OK for funny ladies and funny old men.

This star's baby has a birth defect, possibly because she did blow while pregnant. This celebrity marriage happened because the female celeb lost a bet. This head of state is secretly gay. And this actor's wife's drug habit is making him miss work. Thankfully she's not with child.

Well, here are some new embarrassing Anthony Weiner self-pics, purportedly sent to a woman from his Blackberry in early May. They're being slowly leaked out by Andrew Breitbart all day, the tease.

It's already been established that Washington, DC—once known as the Most Dangerous City in America—is now being consumed by a young, hip vibe that threatens to engulf the entire metropolitan area in a tidal wave of youth, hipness, and white people. We now turn to the Washington Post for a deeper look at this phenomenon. What does the newly young and hip DC look like? Like a bunch of nerds, drinking.

Former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn was formally charged today in the State Supreme Court in Manhattan for allegedly attempting to rape a hotel maid last month. He pleaded "Not Guilty." The next hearing will be July 18th, so the stage is set for the perfect midsummer media shit-storm.

Our long national nightmare of having to hear about Katie Couric's job search seemingly every god damn week for a god damn year is finally over: she's going to ABC, just like everyone knew she would god damn months ago.

After all of the trash talking and "cucumber slurs" between Germany and Spain over where the deadly "mutant" E. coli outbreak originated, we may finally have the culprit: sprouts from a farm in Uelzen, Germany. Samples from the farm are being tested now. A German agriculture official told the BBC that "a connection has been found involving all the main outbreaks" and the farm in Uelzen. Uh, sorry Spanish cucumber farmers!

In March, doctors and nurses in "key US ally" Bahrain were being assaulted by government troops for treating injured pro-democracy protesters. And today, 47 doctors and nurses were arraigned on charges that they tried to topple the government.

Does the thought of buying weed from a drug dealer scare you? Or maybe the thought of inhaling smoke is keeping you from getting so high? Fear not, because you can still get (fake) high on totally legal soda!

The European Southern Observatory has released a new image of galaxy NGC 6744, which is about 30 million light-years away, taken with a "Wide Field Imager on the MPG/ESO 2.2-metre telescope." Basically, it looks just like the Milky Way. Here's what the ESO about the picture:

Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi is apparently still hosting bunga bunga parties, but he's moved them to a different mansion, according to wiretaps that were leaked to an Italian newspaper. Berlusconi's lawyer said the article is "completely without foundation."

Here's a trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, which premiered during tonight's MTV Movie Awards (right before Robert Pattinson made out with Taylor Lautner). Now, I'm no Twilight expert, but it appears that things will go down thusly: Jacob receives an invitation to Edward and Bella's nuptials and becomes so angry that he rips off his shirt (because obviously). The vampire Wedding of the Century then takes place, followed by lots of pillow-biting vampire sex. Jacob is still mad/shirtless. And then OH MY GOD does Bella have a baby bump?!

Maybe-presidential candidate Rick Perry doesn't just have a spirit animal—he is a spirit animal. That's why he's hosting a "solemn gathering of prayer and fasting" for America's governors in August. Inspirational video inside!